I don’t mean to be sexist, but I think someone has to say this.
There are only a few things more pathetic than a woman trying to explain to a man how men think – sometimes in order to justify some foolish thinking or action of hers.
I’m like “Really? I’m surprised you can even move about by yourself”. I’d often found myself trying to correct the impression some men have that men are superior to women. I don’t generally agree with that, but, some women just make the “fish-brain” insult a reality.
I’d never seen a man try to explain to a woman how women think. Men are not that dumb. We know you’re a woman. We can only tell you what we think you’re thinking, and how we think we outsmarted you. I mean, you’re a woman, we can’t possibly know more about being a woman than you do. But, on multiple occasions women have tried explaining to me (a full grown man) how men think, and I’ll just be looking at the woman in shock, and somewhat embarrassed on her behalf. And, I must admit, I haven’t met one yet that wasn’t just spewing stupidity from her beautiful lips. Mind you, women are wonderful creatures. Intuitive, loving, and with a brain that gathers data, analyzes, and processes a million things at the same time.
But, you’re wrong about this one.
The reason you’re wrong is quite simple; you’re using a woman’s brain to decipher a man’s brain. It’s like using an English-French dictionary to decipher German, or trying to use your left leg to recreate a Picasso…on the sand. Sure, the end result might mean something, but will most likely have nothing to do with the original thing. How many times (as a much younger person) did you gang up and pull down a friend’s trousers because it was fun?
Have you ever gotten into a fight because your stupid friend insulted the wrong dude, and you couldn’t leave him because…well, he’s your (stupid) friend?
Did you ever own a toy car, old tyre, or some dirty weird metal contraption and loved it more than anything else in the world?
Did you go fishing with your friends, and would’ve worn the same clothes for a week if mommy didn’t always ‘mess’ with your programme?
Did you ever cut open a lizard with a razor blade just to see how the inside was?
Have you ever caught yourself in a zipper? (That one is a special experience. Ask any man).
Do you know that parents don’t need to teach boys to protect their privates? Oh no, you just learn it and become an expert overnight. You know that talk about not letting anyone see your panties or touch you or take advantage of you? Until recently, boys didn’t need it. We did the seeing, the touching and the taking. Parents only taught us that it was inappropriate, and God will deal with us eternally…that is, after daddy dishes out a colossal ass whipping on earth.
Hell! I was more scared of God and my dad than I was of the police.
You know how (often) a girl’s abode is prim and proper, then you put a bunch of them together and you have a pigsty? (Sexist, I know). It’s usually not like that with boys. Put them together and you have a hot bachelor(s) pad, abattoir, mini playboy mansion, etc. where everybody is looking out for everybody…especially when girls are involved.
Do you understand “Guy code”? No, seriously, ask yourself, do you REALLY understand ‘Guy code’?
Sweetheart, you NEVER will.
Imagine walking into a strange place and walking up to the nearest woman (a total stranger) and she helps you like you were both from the same village, and on the same team. I know most women can’t. They’d be mighty suspicious of the stranger. Well, men experience that more often than not.
You see, women tend to (unnecessarily) compete with each other, and that brings unnecessary hostility. Men don’t…unless it’s football.
What I’m trying to say is; you did not grow up a man, dealing with stuff boys deal with everyday – stuff that evolved to make them men. You can’t POSSIBLY know how men think.
There was a story about a woman whose husband was suddenly moody and withdrawn. She was so worried she went and told her girlfriends. After dissecting and analyzing the man’s zombie-like state and spoting telltale signs, as one they all concluded he was having an affair and was most likely going to ask for a divorce.
The woman was shattered.
Something drastic needed to be done!
Someone suggested seeing a native doctor, another suggested calling his (the husband’s) mother. In a state of confusion the woman went to talk to her pastor. After crying her heart out to him, the pastor suggested she asked her husband what the problem was.
So, she went home and saw him sulking in a corner as usual. Calmly, she asked him what the problem was.
Her husband looked at her with tears in his eyes, and blurted “I still can’t believe Arsenal lost that match. Wenger is an idiot!”
– Arinze Nduanya.
arinze@nduanya.com
www.arinze.nduanya.com