In whatever sphere of life cheating is regarded as a betrayal of trust. Findings have shown that men hardly ever forgive a cheating partner, even if they are also guilty of the act.
According to previous studies, men cheat for adventure, ego, unsatisfactory sexual experience in their marriage, frustration, revenge and deceit while women cheat due mainly to lack of affection from their partner, sexual dissatisfaction, revenge, boredom and peer pressure.
However, in order not to be caught unawares, there are signals that show that a partner is having an affair. It should equally be noted that each of these signals might not be a complete indicator of infidelity – some can, actually – but a combination of one or more could be. Some of these signals include:
They are suddenly protective of their phones:
Protecting one’s phone, maybe with a password, is never a bad idea. In fact, it is encouraged so that if it is stolen or misplaced, such thieves or anyone who lays hands on it does not have access to confidential information stored on the phone. Regardless, however, people who cheat are usually protective of their phones excessively or they take offence when their partner touches their phone. For the sake of trust, there are couples who tell their partners their password, but with a caveat not to be intrusive or meddlesome. But in such a situation, where the man or woman suddenly changes their password, when there was no breach of the caveat or any reasonable explanation, such persons might be hiding some things.
Making secret calls and not disclosing caller’s identity:
Funny as it might be, it is not uncommon for people who have things to hide to go to the bathroom, sometimes putting on the shower or tap to create some distraction; sneaking out of bed in the midnight to the visitor’s room or staircase to make calls or whispering over the phone while making calls or ending the call upon sighting the partner. In such cases, when asked who they were on the phone with, the common responses are ‘Oh! Don’t worry, it’s nothing important’ or ‘it’s a wrong number’ or ‘no one of importance.’
When they delete their chat history:
The advent of chatting apps has somewhat made cheating easier, arguably. Thus, it could be a source of concern when a partner repeatedly clears the chat or message conversation with a person, especially before allowing their partner to touch the phone.
Sudden changes in appearance or preferences:
This factor could appear harmless, but according to some experts, a sudden change in looks, clothing style, or new styles aimed at impressing someone could suggest that it’s all beyond looking good and that an affair might be lurking around. A private investigator and author of Ultimate Betrayal, which is a guide to recognising, uncovering, and dealing with a cheating partner, Danine Manette, told Woman’sDay,
Unusual hostile attitude:
While this is not a complete indicator of infidelity, experts say that people, especially men, cheating could be anxious or unsettled and look for every opportunity to create conflict and even leave the house, presumably out of anger, all being a ploy to go and spend time with the other lover outside. Manette added that if the partner suddenly gets angry or is irritated by the things that appealed to them before, like partner’s eating habit, dressing style, manner of speech and sex style, it could also be a signal.
They create some distance:
This is possibly a signal when a partner deliberately, or for no definite reason, creates some distance. Apart from now having more space to interact with their second lover, such persons would likely have less conversation with their partner and so would be free from any slip that could indict them during conversation. According to some marriage counsellors, if they stop spending time with you, or stop showing affection in public, it could also be a signal.
When they become unusually caring:
Reasonably, one of the things guilt does is to compel people to be evasive or more affectionate to the person offended. Manette said, “When a man feels guilty, he may become unusually affectionate or attentive as a way to mask his affair or relieve some of his guilt.”
They refuse to disclose their location: This is another way people mask their extra-marital affairs. Knowing that disclosing where they are, especially if they are not meant to be there, could attract some suspicion, they tend to stammer or think twice before giving a response, and they could lie outright.
They are strangely unreachable:
Whether they need to spend some time with their girlfriend or not to sound suspicious on the phone, cheating persons are wont to switch off their phones or put it in ‘flight mode’ so they would be unreachable. The lies that follow such could be low battery or poor network. When this happens from time to time, especially when they are reasonably expected to be reachable, it could be a signal. Also, if such persons become fidgety or are incoherent on the phone as to what they had been up to, it could be a signal that they could be having an affair.
Less interest in sex:
Apart from fatigue from the work place, which is quite understandable, a man or woman who is having an affair, especially a romantic relationship, may not be disposed to sexual moves from the partner, simply because that need has been taken care of elsewhere or sex with them has become boring, unless there is a medical condition or any mutual understanding why one party may want to abstain from sex.
Constant reference to a new ‘friend’:
When married persons repeatedly talk about someone of the opposite sex, whether by reflex or it is done deliberately, the partner might have something to worry about, because such silent or subtle affection could spiral into something romantic over time. Thus, such could be a signal as well.
Source: Punch