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What did you learn from your previous relationship?

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Relationship with someone you love is very critical considering the amount of emotions and the commitment involved. Justice Okamgba gathers from Beverly Weatherby, Software Engineer at Apple on what he learnt from his previous relationship experience.

  1. Always trust your instinct and listen to your best friends. Sometimes you can be so blindly in love, you can’t see reality.
  2. Never beg for someone to stay. In the end, the results will be the same. Let it go the first time when they say they no longer want to be with you.
  3. See the red flags in the beginning of the relationship. What you dislike in the beginning will be the cause of the relationship ending.
  4. A person can leave you ANYTIME no matter how much they proclaim they love you. So, love yourself FIRST.
  5. Leave at once when someone starts criticising you and damaging your mental and emotional health. You won’t realise how much it will affect your future relationship with others and yourself.
  6. Love is all about consistency and effort.
  7. You can truly fall in love with anyone, it’s all just about a choice and a decision.
  8. You can be super compatible with a person, share the same hobbies and values but doesn’t mean that they are the one for you.
  9. Communication is really key. We tend to over analyse and come up with our own conclusion but in reality it’s the total opposite.
  10. Anyone that enters your life is an add value to your happiness. They are however not your happiness.
  11. Do not give yourself too much to a person, or be overly nice to them. They will take you for granted.
  12. Love is not enough, never enough.
  13. Always ask yourself : Are you in love or are you in love with the idea of being in love?
  14. There is always a giver and a taker in a relationship. The more you give, the less they will reciprocate
  15. Try to be gentle as possible with your reaction even if it’s breaking your heart. You can’t change what happened but you can choose how to react towards it.
  16. Save your time and set expectations of each other needs in the beginning. Don’t be afraid to speak up on what you want, the right one will listen.
  17. Don’t waste time looking for a closure, look for one within yourself and end it with that. The only closure you need is that they choose not to be with you. The End.

“Not everything is supposed to become something beautiful and long-lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us.”

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Romance

​How to make your home made body glow scrub

Written by ALICE GINIKA SIMEON

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home made body glow scrub

Having a healthy looking skin is a priceless thing to possess for everyone be you a male, or a female.

And scientifically it is required of us to clean our pores so that those dead cells can be removed and a more beautiful skin can be reborn.

Althoug​​h so many people think that a lot of money has to be spent on actually actualizing that, well it’s not totally true.

Because with the “do it yourself” hacks, that’s the DIY hacks, you can spend just a little money in getting the right ingredients you need to put together what you need for a healthy and beautiful skin instead of giving out a huge sum to purchase one.

So here, I’ll be showing you how to make your own glow scrub from this simple ingredients.

INGREDIENTS

  1. Sea salt (for a less sensitive skin) or Sugar(for sensitive skins)

1 cup is okay.

  1. Essential oil like (almond oil, olive oil, or any essential oil of your choice).

12 drops or enough to saturate your salt or sugar quantity.

  1. Vitamin E

2 to 4 drops.

  1. Any scent supplement of your choice (which is very optional).

Just enough drops to your taste.

METHOD

Note that if you have a very soft and sensitive skin, then you might just have to stick to using sugar instead of the sea salt. And if not, use the sea salt.

  1. Pour your salt or sugar into a clean bowl.
  2. Add the drops of your essential oil and start mixing.
  3. Add your vitamin E and mix
  4. Add your scent supplement and mix

By now it will be in a moist form.

Fill it into an airtight container and keep ready for use.

HOW IT’S USED.

Now before use, make sure to soak or moist your whole body with water, then get the amount of scrub you need into your palm and start scrubbing all over your body. Keep scrubbing till the particles are dissolved and you feel a smoother skin.

Now you can rinse it off and use your soap to finish bathing.

Do this 3 times a week as it is expected to exfoliate atleast thrice a week.

So try this and give your skin a more radiating look at a more affordable and easy way.

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Romance

8 Signs to know if he or she is the one for you

Written by ALICE GINIKA SIMEON

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Signs of Mr or Mrs Right

When you’re in a relationship, it’s very likely you want to know if he or she is the one.

“The one” here literally means the one you want to settle down with because there might be more than one person who you can like, or who you like, But there has to  be just one person for you to settle down with.

So here are some signs to tell you if he or she is that one person for you.

1. Your dreams and goals are in synch:

Okay, your goals and values together might not be 100 percent exactly in sync, but you both share a very good considerable amount of goals together.

It could be your attributes, your ambitions, your personality, and so much more. But you just discover that you and the one are mostly sharing your goals and dreams together.

2. You feel safe and original around them:

When you’re with “the one” they make you feel so safe and original around them as you won’t have to hide your weaknesses when they are there.

You won’t have to be scared of saying or doing things ordinarily for the fear of them criticizing you.

There is just a balance of them letting you be yourself and at the same time helping you be a better version of yourself.

3. Their Imperfections are not enough reasons for you to leave them:

When you’re dating the one persay, you just have that love that compels you to want to see and bring out the best in them.

So their Imperfections are never a deal breaker for you. It could be how they look or behave, but instead of that scaring you away, it pulls you closer to them to help them be better. Same goes for them seeing you the same way.

4. They are always willing to work on the relationship:

Being in a relationship requires more than love. It requires understanding and the willingness to work together even in times of conflict. So when you’re dating the one, it just feels right that you both are always committed to making the relationship work especially in bad times. So that commitment towards it, shows you that you’re with the one unlike situations where some persons easily quit the relationship when things go rough.

5. You’ve faced challenges together and your relationship is still standing strong:

This is one very valuable point as it shows your deep level of love, understanding, and commitment towards each other whether emotionally, financially, physically and otherwise. If you both have faced some challenges together, and you always find a way to overcome it and still stick together, it means you are with “The one” no doubt.

6. You’re always featured in their future:

When you’re with the one, you just notice they are always including you in their plans and everything that’s very important to their lives. This shows how important they see and take you, and also how they really want you to be a part of them. The same goes for you. You just see yourself including them in your plans and future.

7. They talk about you and show you off:

Once you’re with the one, you’ll notice how well they show you off to their family and friends. They don’t keep you a secret as they’ll always want the people close to them to know about you. And they’ll often brag about you. Same goes for how you feel and act towards that one person you really desire.

8. You just feel it deep within:

When you’re with that one person, your guts just tells you so. Deep within everything about them just sits right with you and you feel it that he or she is the one. And truthfully, your instincts rarely mislead you. So you just trust it.

These primary signs tell you that you are with “the one”.

So I hope this article was helpful.

Do enjoy a great relationship life with that one person and thanks for reading.

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Romance

How I ended up marrying my father’s wife

Written by ALICE GINIKA SIMEON

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Marriage

A man who goes by the name   “John” (real name withheld), has brought himself out to the media to disclose how he got married to his father’s wife.

According to him, he said it all started some years ago when he returned from the city to visit home. His dad who was married to three wives already at that time, was planning to still take in a Fourth wife.

He said he ca​​me from a polygamous family in the southern part of Nigeria as his mother is the second wife owing to the fact that his dad is a Chief.

So the life of polygamy wasn’t something rare or abnormal to his people. But to him, he was never cool with it.

In his own words, read his story.

“Coming from a polygamous family was never something to be proud of for me. Infact as a child, I detested my father so much for marrying my mother as a second wife. My whole family as at that time knew how angry being in the family made me feel. But nothing changed.

When I was 18, now my dad was already in his late 50s, the news of him wanting to take in a 3rd wife started spreading. I remember walking to my father angrily and threatening him (lolzz), well nothing changed. It didn’t stop him. He finally took in a very young lady in her 20s.

I was badly hurt with that new addition that I had to leave home. I traveled out to another state entirely to stay with my mum’s family.

I didn’t go home for years because I really wanted nothing to do with my dad and his polygamist personality.

10 years later, my step mum who was my dad’s first wife died so I had to come in for the burial.

Just after a week she was buried, my dad and his people decided it was time to marry another wife, that’s the fourth one now.

I went straight into the meeting of my dad and his elders and clearly gave a warning that my dad shouldn’t think of it because I will not sit still and watch that happen.

Well, I guess they thought I was joking until i did what I did.

Three days after their meeting, a very beautiful and young girl in her mid 20s was brought home to be my father’s wife.

At first, all I wanted to do was cause trouble by chasing her back and upsetting my father and his kinsmen. But when I saw how beautiful, calm and humble the lady was, I had to think of another strategy.

Now before you think I just dived in straight to take her from my father, noooo there was more to that.

By tradition, she was supposed to move into my father’s chambers one month after my step mum’s burial. But she has to be in the household before then to learn certain things from the other wives. So I had to use within that period to plan something different.

I started by confronting her the next day after she came. I got her into an interrogative discussion, and yes I was so rude to her. But after asking her so many questions as to why she would want to succumb to marrying someone old enough to be her dad, I got to find out that she was a very brilliant person with great dreams who was only trying to take care of her family and do their wish by marrying my dad because her family wouldn’t have it another way.

From that day, we got into more conversations, and I started seeing more to her than just a naive girl trying to obey her family.

Well, the truth is, when you keep getting closer to people or knowing them more, there’s every tendency to start liking them. And that was what happened.

I started liking her, well, even though nobody in the family noticed at the time, but I started hanging out with her and we really started going deep with our friendship.

And finally, the both of us fell in love within three weeks she came into our household.

I had to confide in my mum about the recent development, but she wouldn’t hear of it. But that didn’t stop me anyway.

I told myself, if I waited one more week, my beautiful found love will be married to my dad,  and no one will back me to stop it.

So I did just one thing, some days to their marriage, after speaking to her with much assurance of a better life with me, The both of us eloped.

I already had money to start a new life, so it was all a little easy.

I dropped a letter behind for my mum and the family, changed my phone number, infact I went on ghost mode after running away with my father’s to be wife.

We started of in another state, we started of a business together, I pushed her to school and we really built ourselves for 5 years. Even though we stayed far and away from both our families as that was the sacrifice we had to pay, but in the end, it was worth it.

Message got to me in that 5th year that my dad was So sick and needed to see me as he might not make it.

I was scared but also desperate to fix things now by seeing him.

I went home finally, and to my surprise, instead of the hostile welcome I was expecting to meet, the whole family welcomed me.

My dad and I spoke about everything that had happened, I apologized and he said he was okay as long as I loved her. He told me how being a polygamist wasn’t his personality but he was not too bold to fight against tradition like I could.

Before my dad passed, I brought her home immediately and both her family and mine united together to get us married properly.

Today, we are doing incredibly okay with our lives and our kids.

And that was the end of forceful polygamy struggle in my family. It is now a matter of choice and not a force for who doesn’t want it.

So, this is the story of how I ended up marrying my father’s wife (almost to be wife anyway).

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