Romance
Pornography and the growing ‘mental’ men
“When I began counseling in the mid-1970s, hardcore pornography was difficult to obtain. But in recent decades, new electronic technologies, such as cable television, computers, and iPhones, have transformed it into a product that’s available to anyone—anytime, anywhere, and often cheap or free. It’s become a substantial part of our economy, boasting annual revenues in excess of $13 billion in the United States and $100 billion worldwide”- Wendy Maltz.
Let me bring Wendy Maltz concerns home. In the 80s’ and 90s’ barely could you see pornographic films displayed in public glare. Then, it was mostly referred to as ‘blue film’. Nobody called it the original name: pornography. Young people where careful not to be caught with such film in their possession.
Today, the case is different. Smartphones have become the snare to our young people. Don’t get it twisted; smartphones are useful devices that make life more convenient; especially with regards communications. But when misused, it becomes a monster’s temple.
Explaining this on Quora.com, Rishabh Naresh Goel of Movie Buff, recalls the term “blue film” or “blue movie” refers to a cinematic production that is contrary to the standard moral code. It is probably a spin-off from the “blue laws” that existed in many States of America until about 50 or 60 years ago.
In the late eighteenth century, Rev. Samuel Peters introduced the term as a reference to the “bluenoses” who subscribed to the Puritan standards of the seventeenth century. Rumors claim that he wrote on blue paper or that his writings were found in books with blue covers. Neither rumor has been substantiated.
According to the “blue laws,” most businesses could not operate on Sunday. “Keeping the Sabbath holy” was one of the ten commandments, the basis of most laws in Christian countries.
The blue laws particularly targeted the sale of alcohol, but they also applied to grocery stores and other commercial activities.
However, pharmacies were exempt in most cases because of the emergency need for medication. That’s why, today, many items that would be sold in super markets or dry goods stores are found on the shelves of Rite-Aid, Long’s, Walgreens, etc.
As times and community standards changed, so did the laws. Consequently, most people today have never heard the expression “blue laws” and would not have any idea of why XXX films would be called “blue movies.”
Well, the explosion in porn use has happened so fast that many therapists are overwhelmed, because viewers, mostly men are going ‘mental’!
As a society, we may be unprepared to face the devastating consequences, because it appears we are yet to comprehend the extent of the problems porn can cause, or how deeply its use can harm individuals and their intimate partners.
But, one wonders why a lot of young people would be doing this. The battle is even ahead because mobile technology has made it easy for anyone to consume any type of content he or she desires anytime, anywhere, almost on silos.
In 2015 alone, people consumed 4 billion hours of pornographic content and over 50% did so from their smartphones. The porn industry has never had it this good and this is basically because mobile technology has made it so easy to access porn freely and conveniently. Do you know that it is estimated that one third of the entire Internet traffic is pornography related?
18 Shocking Porn Statistics That Should Get Everybody Worried:
- HuffPost: Porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, & Twitter combined each month.
- WebRoot: 35% of all internet downloads are porn-related.
- WebRoot: 34% of internet users have been exposed to unwanted porn via ads, pop-ups, etc.
- WebRoot: Porn increased marital infidelity by 300%.
- HuffPost: At least 30% of all data transferred across the internet is porn-related.
- The most common female role in porn is women in their 20’s portraying teenagers. (Jon Millward.) (In 2013, Millward conducted the largest personal research study on the Porn Industry in the U.S. He interviewed 10,000 porn stars about various aspects of the business.)
- IWF: Recorded child sexual exploitation (known as “child porn”) is one of the fastest-growing online businesses.
- 624,000+ child porn traders have been discovered online in the U.S. (Innocent Justice)
- TopTenReviews: Child porn is a $3 billion industry.
- NBC News: Porn is a global, estimated $97 billion industry, with about $12 billion of that coming from the U.S.
- PH Analytics: In 2016 alone, more than 4,599,000,000 hours of porn were watched on the world’s largest porn site.
- SimilarWeb: Eleven pornography sites are among the world’s top 300 most popular Internet sites. The most popular such site, at number 18, outranks the likes of eBay, MSN, and Netflix.
More Statistics from NCOSE:
- 64% of young people, ages 13–24, actively seek out pornography weekly or more often.
- Teenage girls and young women are significantly more likely to actively seek out porn than women 25 years old and above.
- A study of 14- to 19-year-olds found that females who watched pornographic videos were at a significantly greater likelihood of being victims of sexual harassment or sexual assault.
- A Swedish study of 18-year-old males found that frequent users of pornography were significantly more likely to have sold and bought sex than other boys of the same age.
- A 2015 meta-analysis of 22 studies from seven countries found that internationally the consumption of pornography was significantly associated with increases in verbal and physical aggression, among males and females alike.
- A recent UK survey found that 44% of males aged 11–16 who viewed pornography reported that online pornography gave them ideas about the type of sex they wanted to try.
Writing on this subject, CFA jr. recalled his private study which reveals that at least 10 pornographic websites were among the top 100 websites that Nigerians visited. Are we then turning to a society of porn addicts?
Well, one important thing is that sex education must not be treated like a plague any more. The internet as a powerful innovation tool can be dangerous atimes, especially when the user is not well guided.
According to a 2015 BBC news report, 10% of U.K. 12 and 13 year olds fear they are addicted to porn. 12% of 12-13 year olds admitted to participating in a sexually explicit video.
Please, don’t wish it away by saying oh this is not the UK but Nigeria. Historically, Nigerians usually leapfrog many other countries in adopting new technologies and also how we consume content is amazing.
In another survey report commissioned by the centre-left Institute for Public Policy Research think tank and published on the daily mail website, it was discovered that 80% of UK teens say porn is “too easy” to access or stumble upon on the internet.
About 46% of teens said “sexting” is a part of everyday life for teenagers and 70% said porn was seen as normal by their peers at school. Finally, 2/3 of girls and nearly 50% of boys said, growing up would be easier if porn was harder to access.
Presently, most companies’ productivity circle is declining. If you investigate properly, most young people in such companies are glued to their screens (computer), not in search of solutions to their company’s challenges; rather they are searching for the latest pornographic video uploaded online. This is pathetic. As such, the mental state of some people is declining too. May God save us! At the time sex dole is trending, it is as though illicit sex is now normal.
Quite frankly it is a tough call to monitor young people online these days, but early education will go a long way in directing them to the right part. A stitch in time saves nine.
Having a healthy looking skin is a priceless thing to possess for everyone be you a male, or a female.
And scientifically it is required of us to clean our pores so that those dead cells can be removed and a more beautiful skin can be reborn.
Although so many people think that a lot of money has to be spent on actually actualizing that, well it’s not totally true.
Because with the “do it yourself” hacks, that’s the DIY hacks, you can spend just a little money in getting the right ingredients you need to put together what you need for a healthy and beautiful skin instead of giving out a huge sum to purchase one.
So here, I’ll be showing you how to make your own glow scrub from this simple ingredients.
INGREDIENTS
- Sea salt (for a less sensitive skin) or Sugar(for sensitive skins)
1 cup is okay.
- Essential oil like (almond oil, olive oil, or any essential oil of your choice).
12 drops or enough to saturate your salt or sugar quantity.
- Vitamin E
2 to 4 drops.
- Any scent supplement of your choice (which is very optional).
Just enough drops to your taste.
METHOD
Note that if you have a very soft and sensitive skin, then you might just have to stick to using sugar instead of the sea salt. And if not, use the sea salt.
- Pour your salt or sugar into a clean bowl.
- Add the drops of your essential oil and start mixing.
- Add your vitamin E and mix
- Add your scent supplement and mix
By now it will be in a moist form.
Fill it into an airtight container and keep ready for use.
HOW IT’S USED.
Now before use, make sure to soak or moist your whole body with water, then get the amount of scrub you need into your palm and start scrubbing all over your body. Keep scrubbing till the particles are dissolved and you feel a smoother skin.
Now you can rinse it off and use your soap to finish bathing.
Do this 3 times a week as it is expected to exfoliate atleast thrice a week.
So try this and give your skin a more radiating look at a more affordable and easy way.
When you’re in a relationship, it’s very likely you want to know if he or she is the one.
“The one” here literally means the one you want to settle down with because there might be more than one person who you can like, or who you like, But there has to be just one person for you to settle down with.
So here are some signs to tell you if he or she is that one person for you.
1. Your dreams and goals are in synch:
Okay, your goals and values together might not be 100 percent exactly in sync, but you both share a very good considerable amount of goals together.
It could be your attributes, your ambitions, your personality, and so much more. But you just discover that you and the one are mostly sharing your goals and dreams together.
2. You feel safe and original around them:
When you’re with “the one” they make you feel so safe and original around them as you won’t have to hide your weaknesses when they are there.
You won’t have to be scared of saying or doing things ordinarily for the fear of them criticizing you.
There is just a balance of them letting you be yourself and at the same time helping you be a better version of yourself.
3. Their Imperfections are not enough reasons for you to leave them:
When you’re dating the one persay, you just have that love that compels you to want to see and bring out the best in them.
So their Imperfections are never a deal breaker for you. It could be how they look or behave, but instead of that scaring you away, it pulls you closer to them to help them be better. Same goes for them seeing you the same way.
4. They are always willing to work on the relationship:
Being in a relationship requires more than love. It requires understanding and the willingness to work together even in times of conflict. So when you’re dating the one, it just feels right that you both are always committed to making the relationship work especially in bad times. So that commitment towards it, shows you that you’re with the one unlike situations where some persons easily quit the relationship when things go rough.
5. You’ve faced challenges together and your relationship is still standing strong:
This is one very valuable point as it shows your deep level of love, understanding, and commitment towards each other whether emotionally, financially, physically and otherwise. If you both have faced some challenges together, and you always find a way to overcome it and still stick together, it means you are with “The one” no doubt.
6. You’re always featured in their future:
When you’re with the one, you just notice they are always including you in their plans and everything that’s very important to their lives. This shows how important they see and take you, and also how they really want you to be a part of them. The same goes for you. You just see yourself including them in your plans and future.
7. They talk about you and show you off:
Once you’re with the one, you’ll notice how well they show you off to their family and friends. They don’t keep you a secret as they’ll always want the people close to them to know about you. And they’ll often brag about you. Same goes for how you feel and act towards that one person you really desire.
8. You just feel it deep within:
When you’re with that one person, your guts just tells you so. Deep within everything about them just sits right with you and you feel it that he or she is the one. And truthfully, your instincts rarely mislead you. So you just trust it.
These primary signs tell you that you are with “the one”.
So I hope this article was helpful.
Do enjoy a great relationship life with that one person and thanks for reading.
A man who goes by the name “John” (real name withheld), has brought himself out to the media to disclose how he got married to his father’s wife.
According to him, he said it all started some years ago when he returned from the city to visit home. His dad who was married to three wives already at that time, was planning to still take in a Fourth wife.
He said he came from a polygamous family in the southern part of Nigeria as his mother is the second wife owing to the fact that his dad is a Chief.
So the life of polygamy wasn’t something rare or abnormal to his people. But to him, he was never cool with it.
In his own words, read his story.
“Coming from a polygamous family was never something to be proud of for me. Infact as a child, I detested my father so much for marrying my mother as a second wife. My whole family as at that time knew how angry being in the family made me feel. But nothing changed.
When I was 18, now my dad was already in his late 50s, the news of him wanting to take in a 3rd wife started spreading. I remember walking to my father angrily and threatening him (lolzz), well nothing changed. It didn’t stop him. He finally took in a very young lady in her 20s.
I was badly hurt with that new addition that I had to leave home. I traveled out to another state entirely to stay with my mum’s family.
I didn’t go home for years because I really wanted nothing to do with my dad and his polygamist personality.
10 years later, my step mum who was my dad’s first wife died so I had to come in for the burial.
Just after a week she was buried, my dad and his people decided it was time to marry another wife, that’s the fourth one now.
I went straight into the meeting of my dad and his elders and clearly gave a warning that my dad shouldn’t think of it because I will not sit still and watch that happen.
Well, I guess they thought I was joking until i did what I did.
Three days after their meeting, a very beautiful and young girl in her mid 20s was brought home to be my father’s wife.
At first, all I wanted to do was cause trouble by chasing her back and upsetting my father and his kinsmen. But when I saw how beautiful, calm and humble the lady was, I had to think of another strategy.
Now before you think I just dived in straight to take her from my father, noooo there was more to that.
By tradition, she was supposed to move into my father’s chambers one month after my step mum’s burial. But she has to be in the household before then to learn certain things from the other wives. So I had to use within that period to plan something different.
I started by confronting her the next day after she came. I got her into an interrogative discussion, and yes I was so rude to her. But after asking her so many questions as to why she would want to succumb to marrying someone old enough to be her dad, I got to find out that she was a very brilliant person with great dreams who was only trying to take care of her family and do their wish by marrying my dad because her family wouldn’t have it another way.
From that day, we got into more conversations, and I started seeing more to her than just a naive girl trying to obey her family.
Well, the truth is, when you keep getting closer to people or knowing them more, there’s every tendency to start liking them. And that was what happened.
I started liking her, well, even though nobody in the family noticed at the time, but I started hanging out with her and we really started going deep with our friendship.
And finally, the both of us fell in love within three weeks she came into our household.
I had to confide in my mum about the recent development, but she wouldn’t hear of it. But that didn’t stop me anyway.
I told myself, if I waited one more week, my beautiful found love will be married to my dad, and no one will back me to stop it.
So I did just one thing, some days to their marriage, after speaking to her with much assurance of a better life with me, The both of us eloped.
I already had money to start a new life, so it was all a little easy.
I dropped a letter behind for my mum and the family, changed my phone number, infact I went on ghost mode after running away with my father’s to be wife.
We started of in another state, we started of a business together, I pushed her to school and we really built ourselves for 5 years. Even though we stayed far and away from both our families as that was the sacrifice we had to pay, but in the end, it was worth it.
Message got to me in that 5th year that my dad was So sick and needed to see me as he might not make it.
I was scared but also desperate to fix things now by seeing him.
I went home finally, and to my surprise, instead of the hostile welcome I was expecting to meet, the whole family welcomed me.
My dad and I spoke about everything that had happened, I apologized and he said he was okay as long as I loved her. He told me how being a polygamist wasn’t his personality but he was not too bold to fight against tradition like I could.
Before my dad passed, I brought her home immediately and both her family and mine united together to get us married properly.
Today, we are doing incredibly okay with our lives and our kids.
And that was the end of forceful polygamy struggle in my family. It is now a matter of choice and not a force for who doesn’t want it.
So, this is the story of how I ended up marrying my father’s wife (almost to be wife anyway).
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