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At 44 I’m still a Virgin

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My name is bamike and I’ve lived quite a peculiar life. I’m 44years old and am still a virgin. I know it sounds odd and almost impossible. Let me tell you a bit about myself.
Growing up for me was harsh, I come from a very poor home, my father is a contractor farmer, he farms other people’s farm for money, we were too poor to afford our own farm, my mother was a nanny and cleaned people’s houses. It was really tough growing up, everything was hard to come by.

My parents couldn’t afford to take care of me so I was sent to live with one of my mothers sisters aunty rose. Aunty rose is my mothers older sister, she was a teacher in a government owned secondary school. Aunty rose is unmarried and lived alone. My mother once told me a man had betrayed her when she was younger, he got her pregnant and abandoned her but she lost the baby during delivery and ever since, aunty rose hated every man.
I wouldn’t say I enjoyed living with aunty rose, she paid for my education and literally brought me up but living under her roof meant I had to live by her rules.
The number one golden rule was ‘stay away from men’.

I attended the same secondary school my aunty taught hence It was a strict regimented six years for me. She taught me to be afraid of men, they only knew how to destroy and ruin ones future. I remember one time I was in ss2, during a free period I was playing with a boy in class, and aunty rose was passing in the corridor and spotted us. When I got home that day, she made me stand under the scorching sun from 2pm to 4pm without any lunch. I learnt one important lesson that day, laughing or playing with boys was a cardinal sin.
‘Do you want him to touch you and ruin your life forever and move on with his like nothing happened? Do you want to be the laughing stock and not have a bright future?’ She screamed at me that day.

I completed my secondary school education without any deep communication whatsoever with the opposite sex. I gained admission into a polytechnic in our state and I went to school from home. Aunty rose kept an eagles eye on me, I didn’t dare have a close male friend.

My first relationship was after my HND and it was the owner of the cyber cafe where I got a job, his name was James. He said he liked me a lot and couldn’t stop thinking about me. I found attention overwhelming, I kept this from aunty rose and nursed my new wonderful secret. One day after work, James asked me to wait behind. When everyone had gone, he came close to me and without warning slipped his hand inside my blouse, cupped my breasts and squeezed it. I was alarmed, such had never happened to me before. He said he wanted to ‘feel’ me, to show me he loved me. I was too stunned to say a word. I immediately got up like one struck by lightning and dashed out of the cafe without saying a word. I never went back. It occurred to me that what aunty rose had told me was true, he didn’t love me he just wanted to ruin me. I resolved not to let that happen to me and so in that manner I’ve lived my life staying clear of men.

In my early thirties, I met another man through a friend of aunty rose, he was looking for a wife. I was happy, finally someone approved of. She however warned me sternly not to sleep with Stanley till he at least paid my bride price. I thought the idea to be a good one, after all we had all our lives to have sex, what’s the rush?

Stanley wasn’t happy when I told him, he grumbled that we were getting married, why was I being childish and archaic. I stood my ground, in some part of my head, this was some sort of test to know if he truly cared about me. He later grudgingly agreed, I was so elated. I was getting married to a nice man who cared about me and not my body. Loving genuinely for the first time, I gave Stanley my all. I would cook and take to his house, wash and clean, I was determined to be the best wife ever to my husband.

I however came home early one day from the market, and rushed to prepare food for my Stanley. Passing my aunties room on my way to kitchen, I heard strange noises. I was baffled. Aunt rose was supposed to be in school by this time. I opened the door without knocking to verify the source of the sound and I saw the most bizarre scene of my life. Aunty rose was in her bed naked with my Stanley!! At first I didn’t understand what I was looking at. Aunty rose? Stanley? How in Gods name? Aunty rose was so ashamed she couldn’t look at me.

I left her house that night to a friends. I couldn’t stop crying, the woman who had raised me and taught me to stay clear of men was just a bloody hypocrite. I couldn’t do anything she was my mothers sister after all. I called things quits with Stanley, to make matters worse he seemed relieved with the decision. In my anger and bitterness, I moved with my friend to Lagos and got a job. I worked hard and channeled all my hate and bitterness to work. Few years down the line, I have money and am successful but I’m tired of hating and shutting men out. I yearn a fulfilling and loving relationship, I don’t know how not to be awkward around men, my social life is static. I’m 44, unmarried and still a virgin.

GrassRoots.ng is on a critical mission; to objectively and honestly represent the voice of ‘grassrooters’ in International, Federal, State and Local Government fora; heralding the achievements of political and other leaders and investors alike, without discrimination. This daily, digital news publication platform serves as the leading source of up-to-date information on how people and events reflect on the global community. The pragmatic articles reflect on the life of the community people, covering news/current affairs, business, technology, culture and fashion, entertainment, sports, State, National and International issues that directly impact the locals.

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France Urged to Address Colonial Legacy as Senegalese Activists Call for Reparations in Dakar Roundtable

Reporter: Sandra Ani

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France Urged to Address Colonial Legacy in Senegal
Babacar Dioh, representative of the Thiaroye 44 Movement, speaks during the Dakar roundtable on reparations. The movement brings together descendants of Senegalese tirailleurs and advocates for historical justice.

France’s colonial legacy came under renewed scrutiny as journalists, historians, and pan-African activists gathered at African Memorial Square in Dakar for a powerful roundtable advocating reparations and economic justice. 

The event highlighted growing demands for France to take full responsibility for its historical role in Senegal and across West Africa.

France Urged to Address Colonial Legacy - Senegal
Attribution: Babacar Dioh, representative of the Thiaroye 44 Movement – a coalition advocating reparations and justice for descendants of colonial-era African soldiers.

Organized by advocacy groups including the Association of Descendants of Senegalese Soldiers, the Front for the Withdrawal of French Military Bases (GASSI), and JIF’AFRIK, the roundtable brought together influential voices pushing for reparatory justice and structural transformation.

Among the key speakers were Babacar Dioh of the Thiaroye 44 Movement—a coalition of descendants of Senegalese tirailleurs—and Souleymane Jules Diallo, leader of JIF’AFRIK. Discussions centered on two central demands: official reparations for colonial-era injustices and the urgent renegotiation of trade and military agreements that activists say perpetuate economic dependence.

“The time for symbolic gestures is over,” said Dioh. “We are now filing an official reparations claim and taking concrete steps to hold France accountable.”

Speakers called for the dismantling of existing neocolonial frameworks, stressing the ecological, financial, and social harm that has endured beyond the colonial period. The roundtable marks a turning point in Dakar’s positioning as a hub for coordinated African-led advocacy aimed at restoring historical justice.

This event adds momentum to a growing continental movement seeking tangible reparative action from former colonial powers and reinforces the call for equity, autonomy, and acknowledgment of historical truths.

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Gov Mbah Inaugurates Committee to End Gender-Based Violence in Enugu

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The Enugu State government has inaugurated a steering committee to eliminate Gender-Based Violence, GBV, in the state, declaring zero tolerance for the social malaise.

The inauguration took place at the Government House Enugu.

The panel, which is chaired by the Commissioner for Children, Gender Affairs and Social Development, Mrs. Ngozi Enih, draws its membership from the Nigeria Police Force, Ministry of Agriculture and Agro Industrialisation, Ministry of Local Government, Rural Development and Chieftaincy Affairs, Ministry of Human Development and Poverty Reduction, Ministry of Trade, Investment and Industry, Ministry of Justice, Ministry of Health, Ministry of Education as well as the Civil Society.

Inaugurating the panel known as the Steering Committee for Strengthening Institutional and Community Responses to End Gender-Based Violence/Domestication of Enugu State Gender Policy using the Oputa Panel approach, Governor Peter Mbah restated his administration’s commitment to not bringing perpetrators of GBV to book, but also putting in place proactive measures – activities, infrastructure, and systems in place to prevent them.

Mbah, who was represented by the Secretary to the State Government, Prof. Chidiebere Onyia, said, “We take gender-based violence seriously. We have zero tolerance for it, and in Enugu State, we are ready to go the extra mile to deal with it.

“If you notice, the government has selected people that are very committed to this goal. This is not an activity where we just want to check-off the list. We will track this. We will monitor this, and we will have quarterly engagements on the successes that this particular committee has achieved in terms of reference that we are going to send.

“We will tighten those terms of reference indicators, so that we monitor what we are doing both in terms of cost input and the value added. It’s very important to us. Many people will be involved – civil society, the police and various ministries.”

He however, said that the effort was to protect everyone, men and women alike, as GBV was not restricted to any gender.

“The whole idea is to hold people responsible that are involved in matters relating to gender violence and deter people that by culture or by association get involved in that, protect women, protect our children, and in the case of violence against men, protect our men because most times we misconstrue gender violence to mean women, but it can also be men too.

“We encourage our men to speak out and to make sure they understand that the policy that Enugu State is soon going to domesticate is for everyone, and not only for the female gender,” he stated.

In her remark, Mrs. Enih, explained that the Oputa Panel approach was inspired by the need to cover all local peculiarities in domesticating the policy on GBV, restarting government’s confidence in the members of the panel.

“The approach we are going to use is the Oputa Panel approach, and in the Oputa Panel approach, we are going to tour the 17 Local Government Areas to get firsthand information about what our people are going through because policy is meant for the people, and a policy should suit the people.

“Again, every community has its peculiar problems, so that’s why the government decided that if we have to domesticate the gender policy, we have to hear from the people who own the policy and know the changes that they desire to see. That is the reason we are using this approach.

“The committee members are to also serve as judges. As we gather this information from our people, we will come back to tailor it in a way to suit the people of Enugu State, and then our policy is ready.

“We want the people to know that there is a gender policy for them. I can assure you that when the people are aware that there is such a policy, they will seek for the enforcement of that policy. So, this is not going to be one of those policies that will just lie on the shelf,” she said.

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Emulate Christ’s virtues, Glo urges Christians at Easter

Reporter: Sandra Ani

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Glo and Globacom
Globacom

Digital solutions provider, Globacom, has congratulated Christians in Nigeria on this year’s Easter celebration, and urged them to emulate the noble qualities of Jesus Christ.  

The company, in a goodwill message to the Christian faithful in the country, lauded their perseverance through the Lenten period which preceded Easter. It enjoined them to always promote the ideals of selflessness, love and peace among all as a way of demonstrating the virtues of the exemplary life of Jesus Christ. 

“Peace, love and sacrifice are the central message of Easter. Christ offered himself in atonement for the sins of the world and he lived a life which made Him an eternal symbol of peace and goodwill for mankind”, Globacom added. 

The company enjoined all Nigerians to share in the lessons of promoting selflessness, a necessary ingredient in the growth and development of every society. It also enjoined all Nigerians to join hands to make Nigeria a better place for all. 

Easter is celebrated yearly at the end of the Lenten season of fasting and prayer considered as a ritual of purification for the Christian faithful. It also precedes the crucifixion of the Lord Jesus Christ on Good Friday and His eventual resurrection on Easter Sunday.

The company assured its customers of seamless voice, data and Short Messaging Service (SMS) during and after the Easter celebrations, while urging them to avail themselves of the various data and voice offerings on the network.

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