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9 ways to talk to women and make them like you

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By: Nmerichukwu Igweamaka

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. At least this is what we have been told.

There was a book written with that title awhile back and to me, it served to create the illusion that men and women are polar opposites in terms of species and have little hope of ever really understanding each other.

What this author did not realize is that men as individuals are very different from each other. You cannot start an argument with “Men are all ……” and not look ignorant, because all men aren’t anything.

The same is true with women. Not all women are alike. What makes each person wonderful is that they are individuals. They each have their own loves and hates, hopes and dreams.

I know this looks hopeless. If all women are different individuals with different tastes and ideas, how in the name of all things Holy can you learn to talk to each and every one of them? Fear not! What I am about to share with you is a secret. It is the secret of how to talk to anyone no matter who they are and to build interest and ultimately love with them.

Underneath the clothing of skin and bones, we are perfect people. We have crappy baggage and things in our past that haunt us but these things are not us and we know that.

No one likes to be reminded of the bad parts of themselves or their painful past. What we are most proud of is who we are innately. We are most proud of the perfect person underneath. When you talk to a woman (or a man or a child) look for the perfect person and talk to him or her.

In some people it is easier to see this perfect person than in others, and in some it is so hidden by strange pseudo personalities and other weird baggage that it is almost absent. If the person you are talking to makes it too hard to access that perfect person underneath, move on. Find someone who doesn’t have as much baggage. And whatever you do, don’t waste your time talking to pseudo personalities. They just aren’t worth it.

Practice this skill 

Go to the supermarket or somewhere where you will have to interact with people. When you get to the check out, find something you like about the checkout person.

I find that women love jewelry and take time and effort to choose and wear pieces that look nice. If you find a piece of jewelry on them and you comment favorably to them about it, you will be met with the person looking up and seeingyou and not some nameless, faceless person. They will automatically start feeling a little better about you.

This is the easy part. You don’t have to be dazzling or brilliant. All you have to be is a good listener and respond with things that are pertinent to the subject at hand. It really is a piece of cake.

For example, you have just commented favorably on a piece of jewelry (or a sweater or scarf) and the conversation has started. Generally they will tell you a little bit about the piece. “Oh, my mom bought it for me for my birthday!’ You then smile and say “What a great mom you have!” or something that you know she will agree with.

Resist with all your might the impulse to start talking about yourself. This conversation is all about her. If you keep this up each time you go through the checkout line, you will find that soon you are friends. From there an invitation for coffee is a perfect next step to get to know each other better.

There is no quicker way to make someone hate your guts than to take an opposing viewpoint to theirs and then try to convince them that they are wrong. Let’s say your adorable check out person has accepted your invite for coffee! Yay!  This is a big step. Don’t blow it now by trying to impress her with how smart, big, or strong you are, and how dumb, weak, and misguided she is. If you do this, this will be your last date and you will have no one to blame but yourself. Instead find things that you agree on.

If you disagree on politics, avoid that subject like a five day old burrito stub that you have just dug up from under the sofa because your negative comments on the subject will be just about as welcome. Stick to the things you wholeheartedly agree on and you will be fine.

Your adorable clerk is a woman. She has had her share of guys trying to cosy up to her and get close. Respect her by giving her space. Trying to move in too close when she is not ready for that is a violation of her limits. To her this may mean that if you violate limits now, who knows what limits will be violated when she allows you into her world?

Brush your teeth and comb your hair. Don’t stink at all! I know I shouldn’t have to say this but sometimes people don’t know they stink. Make sure you don’t! If you just had coffee and a cigarette, chew some gum or something!

Check your teeth and make sure you don’t have anything stuck in them. Don’t look all rumpled unless it is sexy rumpled. Pay a little attention to your wardrobe. Look clean and don’t wear old threadbare clothes. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself and your outward appearance is an indicator of your respect level for yourself.

Don’t worry if you are a little overweigh or feel you are too short or have any other personal attribute that bothers you. Most people don’t even notice these things. If they do and do not want to talk to you because of them, they are not worth it anyway. Move on! There are many wonderful ladies out there who are looking for a caring and nice person like you.

Most people love gifts but there are times when gifts are unwelcome. Let’s say you and your beautiful clerk are now having dinner together this evening. It is perfectly appropriate to give her flowers but don’t give her flowers, chocolate in a heart shaped box and a new car.

She does not want to be put under an obligation and too many gifts make her feel that she now has to do something for you. While this may sound great, it feels awful. Have you ever shown up at work and forgotten that it was pot luck day and you brought nothing? How did you feel? Did you go around telling everyone that you forgot it was pot luck day and then ate only chips? Did you sneak out the back and give the whole thing a miss because the obligation was just too much? Do you see what I mean?

If you want to impress her, wash and clean your car. Ask her what kind of movie she likes or what she likes to eat and make reservations at a restaurant you know she will love. Take time to create an evening that she will find magical. What will impress her is the care you took and the respect you had for her to take that time.

Remember! Not all women are desirable just because they are women or because they are pretty. A pretty snake can still kill you and a woman who is negative, antagonistic, or passive aggressive (also referred to as covertly hostile) will make your life, and the life of any children you may have, miserable.

Think ahead before getting serious. If you find that your future girlfriend is one of these types, give her a hearty “So long, farewell, auf wiedershen and don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out!”

A warm and loving woman with a twinkle in her eye and a sense of humor is far more desirable than a pretty psycho. Beauty can fade over time when it is only on the surface. Real beauty that you see when you see the perfect person underneath is forever. Life is a tough game and only someone who has integrity, compassion and commitment will be there for you when you really need her.

The others, if they are self centered or psycho will be long gone the minute you need a friend the most.

Let’s face it, even though you are wonderful, dazzling and brilliant, you may not be someone’s cup of cherries or bowl of tea as far as future boyfriend material is concerned. It happens. If it is clear that she does not want a relationship, then ok. You are not wrong and neither is she. Perhaps you can be friends. One can never have too many nice people in one’s life.

There you have it! The important information on how to talk to anyone. Now go forth young Jedi warrior and use your power for good. I expect an invite to your wedding or at least send me a slice of the wedding cake!

Credits: Thetrentonline.com

GrassRoots.ng is on a critical mission; to objectively and honestly represent the voice of ‘grassrooters’ in International, Federal, State and Local Government fora; heralding the achievements of political and other leaders and investors alike, without discrimination. This daily, digital news publication platform serves as the leading source of up-to-date information on how people and events reflect on the global community. The pragmatic articles reflect on the life of the community people, covering news/current affairs, business, technology, culture and fashion, entertainment, sports, State, National and International issues that directly impact the locals.

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Stakeholders Head to Enugu for first Southeast Educators Conference

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SEEC'24

Stakeholders in the education circle are warming up for the maiden edition of Southeast Educators’ Conference 2024(SEEC’24).

The two-day SEEC’24 scheduled to hold 18th & 19th, April 2024 at Nike Lake Resort, Enugu under theme: Future-‘Focused Learning – Igniting the Competitive Edge’ promises to host key players in the education sector with a potential attendance of over 500 delegates.

The conference will feature a diverse lineup of speakers, covering topics ranging from holistic learning approaches to cutting-edge technology integration.

Speaking ahead of the conference, Mrs Doris Chinedu-Okoro, CEO, Evergreen Group, said SEEC’24 is the first of its kind in the Southeast region, presenting a historic opportunity for stakeholders to pioneer positive change in the local education sector.

“It brings together diverse perspectives and innovative ideas,fostering collaboration and networking among educators and stakeholders.

Hundreds of delegates will be in attendance.

“SEEC’24 is dedicated to exploring transformative practices, emphasising holistic learning, technology integration, global citizenship, life-long learning, and community engagement”, she said.

Mr. Osita Chidioka, the former Nigeria’s Minister of Aviation, who recently launched an online mentorship and leadership programme for Nigerian youths named Mekaria Mentorship Programme (MMP) Foundation Course, will deliver the keynote at SEEC’24.

Prof. Pieter Verdegem; Dr. Joy Isa, Mrs. Bukola Adewuiyi, Lady Uju Dike, Fr. John Njorteah, Alex Onyia, Rotimi Eyitayo, Rhoda Odigboh, Elfrida Diete-Spiff Omole, Dr. ChibuezeLawrence Ofobuike, Ify Obidi-Essien, Dr. Abimbola Ogundere, Angelina Ikeako, Odetola Ebenezer Israel and OgochukwuOnyia, are some of the speakers lined up for the event.

The Evergreen Group CEO added that the conference thrives on a vision to create a dynamic platform that equips educators with the tools and knowledge needed to make a lasting impact on the educational landscape of South-Eastern Nigeria.

SEEC’24 is open to School Owners, Heads of Schools (Public and Private), Educational Stakeholders, Counselors, Teachers, Parents, Investors, Startups, and others in the education ecosystem.

“Participants will have the opportunity to engage in two full days of conference sessions, diving deep into the future of Education.

“There will be ample networking opportunities with school leaders from across the geopolitical zone and beyond.

“The evening Gala Night promises a delightful atmosphere for dancing, dining, wining, and fostering deeper connections in a relaxed setting”, she further explained.

Registration is N100,000 via: https://bit.ly/3uTcv9e

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GR Diary

PAFON: Digital Encode, Cybervergent, Payble Sign Up for Payments Forum Nigeria 1.0

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PAFON

·      Experts to Discuss Trust, Security and Privacy in AI Era

Payments Forum Nigeria (PAFON), the cross-industry platform focused on addressing issues that require broad cooperation and coordination across many constituents in the payments industry, has attracted sponsorships from Digital Encode Limited, Cybervergent and Payble.  

Financial industry experts are warming up for the first edition of PAFON, scheduled to take place at Oriental Hotel, Lekki Road, Lagos on Thursday March 21, 2024, by 9am.

The Forum aims at providing an inside-look at the industry, offering perspectives from key stakeholders, including payment networks, technology innovators, leading merchants, issuers, acquirers and payment processors.

Throughout the years, the finance world has shifted into something much more than just banking and big corporations.

Speaking ahead of the star-studded PAFON 1.0, with the theme: “Payments: Trust, Security and Privacy in AI Era”, Dr. Adewale Peter Obadare, the Chief Visionary Officer [CVO], Digital Encode Limited, said that customers want to be assured that their sensitive information, such as credit card numbers and personal details, is treated with utmost care hence security has become paramount in the payments industry.

“Secure payment processing ensures that data breaches are minimized, instilling confidence in customers to keep coming back. Nigerian financial institutions reported ₦159 billion ($201.5 million) lost to fraud cases since 2020, according to the Financial Institutions Training Centre (FITC). This is what the experts must tackle and customer awareness is key too”, he said.

Based on a report by Gartner, by 2024, 40% of privacy compliance technology will rely on AI, up from 5% in 2019, and by 2025, 60% of large organizations will use at least one privacy-enhancing computation technique in analytics, business intelligence, or cloud computing, and financial services industry is no exempted.

On the other hand, Roosevelt Elias, the co-founder of Payble, described PAFON as a ‘must-attend’ Forum due to the ‘issues listed to be discussed are germane and require critical attention. For instance, building financial inclusive products requires a mix of technology and illiteracy. The industry can’t achieve this by working in silos; we just have to unite to achieve the set target on financial inclusion, particularly for the rural dwellers.

Digital Encode (a leading consulting and integration that specializes in the design, management, and security of business-critical architecture); Cybervergent (a company dedicated to helping protect business sensitive data from cyber-attacks, including customer information, financial records and intellectual property); Payble (a fintech startup that modernises local government payments such as creating citizen-centric payment experiences, delivering flexible billing and simplified rate collection, will be joined at PAFON 1.0 by Inlaks, an IT company that offers core banking, fraud management, cybersecurity, cloud, data center, enterprise risk management, amongst other industry players.

“Our goal is to enable information exchange and knowledge sharing on key industry insights issues amongst key stakeholders, with the objective of ensuring a collaborative and proactive approach to push for policies that enable growth, tackling/mitigating fraud and limiting occurrences and losses”, said Mr. Chike Onwuegbuchi, the co-founder of TechCastle Foundation, organisers of Payment Forum Nigeria (PAFON).

He said that the Forum is driven by the reasons to; “educate and inform financial service players and other stakeholders on various issues and trends (both locally and globally); proactively share data/information amongst banks, Fintechs and other service providers, to enable prompt responses to prevent and/or limit (customer-related) losses; and discuss key Payments security trends”.

“Speakers will be drawn among industry players such as banks, Fintechs, mobile money operators, blockchain experts, Cybersecurity, etc., as we expect attendees from the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN); e-Banking Heads; Chief Compliance Officers of banks in Nigeria; Chief Internal Auditors of banks in Nigeria; Office of The National Security Adviser; Switching companies; the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission; Licensed Mobile Payment Operators; Electronic Payments Providers; Information Security Experts; Consumer Protection; Financial Policy and Regulation; Information Technology; Legal Services; Banking Supervision; Corporate Communication; Shared Services Office; Blockchain Security Experts, etc”, he added.

Participation:

Participation is free; however, you are required to pre-register using the link here: https://bit.ly/4c4N19H

For sponsorship, please contact: Mr. Chike Onwuegbuchi via: 08123355522 or Peter Oluka: 08184346261 or email: [email protected].

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GR Diary

Digital Landscape Harmonization: Anambra’s ISPs, HEIs Invited to AFRINIC One-Day Training

By; SANDRA ANI

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ISPs and HEIs in Anambra State

The Anambra State ICT Agency, in a strategic collaboration with the Internet Exchange Point of Nigeria (IXPN), recently, successfully organized a one-day interactive session that brought together Internet Service Providers (ISPs) and Higher Educational Institutions (HEIs), to discuss the imperativeness for interconnectivity and to lay the foundation for establishing an Internet Exchange Point in the State.

The collaborative session saw vibrant discussions and resolutions aimed at creating a more livable state and a robust economy through increased internet access and connectivity.

In furtherance of the milestone recorded with the interactive session, and in recognition of the pivotal role of ISPs and HEIs in expediting actions towards this interconnectivity, a one-day AFRINIC virtual training program has been scheduled to take place on Tuesday, 5th December by 12.00pm.

The follow-up virtual training will not only provide participants with invaluable insights, technical expertise, and practical knowledge to optimize their network infrastructures but will further yield answers to key questions posed by ISPs and HEIs.

AFRINIC, the Regional Internet Registry for Africa, is renowned for its commitment to advancing internet development across the continent. The AFRINIC virtual training therefore represents a significant stride towards realizing the goals outlined during the interactive session.

This initiative aligns perfectly with the vision of Governor Charles Chukwuma Soludo, CFR, of building a technologically advanced state, while the collaborative efforts of the Anambra State ICT Agency and the Internet Exchange Point of Nigeria (IXPN) underscores practical commitment to positioning Anambra as a digital hub, driving innovation, economic growth, and improved quality of life for its residents.

Participants can expect an interactive and immersive learning experience, equipping them with the skills necessary to navigate the dynamic landscape of internet services in the State.

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