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I still love my ex-girlfriend; here are mistakes men make in winning the heart of their ex-

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BY: Ebube Okeke

So your relationship with your ex has broken down, right? But you’re now reflecting on your time together and it’s got you thinking, “Man I’ve realized I still love my ex so much! I just need to know what do I do from here to regain her interest because I definitely still have feelings for her.”

Am I on the right track with that? If so keep reading, because in this article we’re going to get you organized in terms of what your next move should be if you still love your ex.

Chances of getting your ex-girlfriend back quiz

Still love her? Taking a step back is what to do when you miss your ex

As you’re here reading this article, I can safely assume that you’re HIGHLY emotionally charged right now. This whole breakup scenario and your longing to have your ex back has seen to that.

That’s why the first thing I need you to do so that we can get the BEST outcome for your situation, is to just take a step back and understand that your judgement is clouded when you’re so emotional like this.

In other words, I need you to calm down first and let your emotions drop back to something like their normal levels, before you decide whether you want your ex back (or not). Common sense says this is what to do when you miss your ex.

What NOT to do after a break up when you still love and want back your ex

In these breakup situations, there’s a lot of power in avoiding the key mistakes that most guys make…mistakes which just serve to worsen the situation. When you avoid these mistakes, you’re essentially ‘getting out of your own way’ and thereby enabling your ex’s underlying feelings for you to come to the surface.

Simply by avoiding the following actions, your chances of getting your girlfriend back will increase a lot.

NOTE: In most cases, avoiding these key mistakes alone won’t be enough to actually win a girl back. Regardless though, this is a big part of the ex-girlfriend recovery process. So without further ado, here’s what you’ve got to AVOID doing after a breakup, to prevent yourself from sabotaging the steps that DO work to get an ex back.

Trying to persuade (or beg) your ex to take you back

In the time soon after a breakup, a girl is completely and utterly SURE that she doesn’t want to be with you. She may say things that will make you think, “damn, she’s not kidding, she really means this and I can see clear as day that it’s forever.”

She’ll say stuff that will make you think that it really, really is done for good. BUT.

I’ve seen time and again where a guy emails me saying, “I love my ex but she said this and this, it’s really over man.” Then a few weeks later he emails me again saying they’re back together and he can’t thank me enough.

WHY are there patterns like this in the emails I receive?

It’s because women’s FEELINGS change and fluctuate in ways that we men just can’t imagine. Their feelings are super volatile, and crucially to my point here, women use their feelings to decide what their actions will be.

That means that your ex could say, “I never want to see you again”, and of course it leaves you thinking you really won’t see her again. And in that moment she really meant it too, but a week later WHEN HER FEELINGS HAVE CHANGED, things could be VERY different and she could be missing you and wanting to see you.

The fact that a week ago she said she hates your guts and never wants to see you again? Doesn’t matter because how she feels in the moment overrides words she previously said… How she feels in the moment overrides how she felt when she said those words.

But back to the here and now. Shortly after a breakup, your ex’s feelings are telling her it’s over with you, and honestly in that moment, there’s nothing you can say that will change her mind. You’ve got to WAIT for her feelings to change again, which is why step 1 of re-attracting an ex is to use the no contact rule… You just need to wait a little for those emotions of hers to alter in your favor, before any of the other steps from the ex- back process, can work.

So that’s the first reason why you shouldn’t try to persuade your ex that she’s making a big mistake and that you should stay together – there’s just no way that anything you try (other than no contact) is going to help so soon after breaking up.

However, there’s an even more important reason why you shouldn’t try to convince your ex to take you back. It’s not just that you’d be wasting your energy doing it, it’s that actually, you’d be actively ruining your chances of being able to get her back. Let me explain.

When you reason with a girl about how you guys should stay together, you are unwittingly setting up a dynamic (in her mind) in which you are pursuing and chasing her.

Now, like all women do, she understands (probably subconsciously) that men who chase and pursue her have a lower Dating Market Value (DMV) than she does. Because, why would a guy with higher DMV than her, need to chase her? He wouldn’t – she knows she’d have to chase HIM to beat out the female competition. And remember, a woman wants – NEEDS, a guy with a DMV that is at least as high as hers, maybe even a little higher.

So the point here is, your attempts to talk and persuade your ex back are communicating to her that your DMV is lower than hers, thus ensuring that she doesn’t come back. Those attempts are also communicating your desperation to her, which shows her that you don’t have any other options on her level in the dating market. This further communicates LDMV (Low Dating Market Value).Instead, what you need to do is be smart about this and tempt her back to you with high DMV bait. You need to showcase that you’re a high value man. This way she finds herself wanting you back without any need for you to convince her of it! She decides it on her own.

All you have to do is smartly reel out HDMV bait. That is the only way getting a girl back can work.

– Blowing up your ex’s phone with calls and texts, telling her you’re still in love with her

Blowing up your ex’s phone (instead of doing no contact) is a big mistake. When there’s been a breakup, no contact is ALWAYS needed, to get rid of the staleness that is compromising her ability to want you again.

When you blow her phone up, especially to excess, like when you leave 20 missed calls or 10 unanswered texts, it just makes the hole you’re in even deeper, because it conveys massive desperation.

Like I said above, desperation shows your ex that you’re devoid of other options in the dating market, which puts your DMV lower than hers in her mind. This way she couldn’t feel the desire to have you back, even if she wanted to.

But how do you know if you’re doing too much texting or calling?

If you are texting or calling her MORE OFTEN than she is to you, that’s how you know you’re trying to communicate with her too much. Because, if you’re reaching out more than she is, you’re essentially putting in more effort. She then feels A. chased and B. like she means more to you than you do to her. These things communicate low DMV which weakens your chances of getting her back.

– Breaking down emotionally in front of your ex, showing you still have feelings for her

Women value power and strength in a man. They DESPISE signs of weakness.

With that in mind though, you and I are only human. After a separation, breaking down emotionally is inevitable.

Even so, we shouldn’t be breaking down in front of the ex, because women find men getting emotional to be a sign of weakness and thus very unattractive.

Letting out tears in front of your ex would (at best) extract sympathy from her. But I promise you, sympathy and being comforted by a girl are no route to attraction, nor are they a way in to convince her back.

Therefore, hold your emotions back and let them out elsewhere – either on your own or around anyone else EXCEPT your ex (and except any other girl you may want to date at some point).

I know the above comes across from me as kinda cold or harsh. I would have to say, I’m not the greatest at comforting people (better at advising them on how to get out of their predicament, whatever it may be). To that end, I’ll finish this section with this: If you’re still in love with your ex-girlfriend and want her back, keep your tears and emotions away from her.

– Talking to her friends or family

Your ex’s friends and family hold absolutely NO power over her attraction to you or lack thereof. Persuasion from them is no better than persuasion from you. In fact, if your ex knows that you’ve had words with her friends or family and asked them to help change her mind about you, the effect will be even worse, because going to the lengths of requesting their help shows a lot of desperation from you.

Her friends and family can’t help. Only YOU can help yourself in this situation to get your partner back.

I’ve seen cases where the friends and family ADORE the (ex) boyfriend and do their utmost to convince the girl to take him back, but to no avail. I’ve also seen other cases where a girl’s friends and family HATE her boyfriend and try their best to convince her to dump him, saying he’s a “wrong’un”, but she STILL stays with him. Why? One, because she loves him, and two because the friends and family created a forbidden fruit effect that made her want him even more!

And I tell you about those 2 types of cases to show just how powerless other people are in getting you back with your ex! All that can come from getting their ‘help’ is that you look desperate from it – that’s it. So it’s honestly best, for your chances of getting her back, if you leave other people UN-involved.

Getting a girl back is all down to you and how much DMV you’re able to convey from here on out.

Just above are the most common steps men take after a breakup, in attempts (which always fail) to reverse the situation and save their relationship. If you can just avoid doing those things from now on, then you’re half way there.

But look, making those mistakes is not your fault, and they don’t mean that you can’t get your ex back either. They just mean that you’ve got a little more ground to cover than someone who hasn’t made any of those mistake.

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​How to make your home made body glow scrub

Written by ALICE GINIKA SIMEON

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home made body glow scrub

Having a healthy looking skin is a priceless thing to possess for everyone be you a male, or a female.

And scientifically it is required of us to clean our pores so that those dead cells can be removed and a more beautiful skin can be reborn.

Althoug​​h so many people think that a lot of money has to be spent on actually actualizing that, well it’s not totally true.

Because with the “do it yourself” hacks, that’s the DIY hacks, you can spend just a little money in getting the right ingredients you need to put together what you need for a healthy and beautiful skin instead of giving out a huge sum to purchase one.

So here, I’ll be showing you how to make your own glow scrub from this simple ingredients.

INGREDIENTS

  1. Sea salt (for a less sensitive skin) or Sugar(for sensitive skins)

1 cup is okay.

  1. Essential oil like (almond oil, olive oil, or any essential oil of your choice).

12 drops or enough to saturate your salt or sugar quantity.

  1. Vitamin E

2 to 4 drops.

  1. Any scent supplement of your choice (which is very optional).

Just enough drops to your taste.

METHOD

Note that if you have a very soft and sensitive skin, then you might just have to stick to using sugar instead of the sea salt. And if not, use the sea salt.

  1. Pour your salt or sugar into a clean bowl.
  2. Add the drops of your essential oil and start mixing.
  3. Add your vitamin E and mix
  4. Add your scent supplement and mix

By now it will be in a moist form.

Fill it into an airtight container and keep ready for use.

HOW IT’S USED.

Now before use, make sure to soak or moist your whole body with water, then get the amount of scrub you need into your palm and start scrubbing all over your body. Keep scrubbing till the particles are dissolved and you feel a smoother skin.

Now you can rinse it off and use your soap to finish bathing.

Do this 3 times a week as it is expected to exfoliate atleast thrice a week.

So try this and give your skin a more radiating look at a more affordable and easy way.

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8 Signs to know if he or she is the one for you

Written by ALICE GINIKA SIMEON

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Signs of Mr or Mrs Right

When you’re in a relationship, it’s very likely you want to know if he or she is the one.

“The one” here literally means the one you want to settle down with because there might be more than one person who you can like, or who you like, But there has to  be just one person for you to settle down with.

So here are some signs to tell you if he or she is that one person for you.

1. Your dreams and goals are in synch:

Okay, your goals and values together might not be 100 percent exactly in sync, but you both share a very good considerable amount of goals together.

It could be your attributes, your ambitions, your personality, and so much more. But you just discover that you and the one are mostly sharing your goals and dreams together.

2. You feel safe and original around them:

When you’re with “the one” they make you feel so safe and original around them as you won’t have to hide your weaknesses when they are there.

You won’t have to be scared of saying or doing things ordinarily for the fear of them criticizing you.

There is just a balance of them letting you be yourself and at the same time helping you be a better version of yourself.

3. Their Imperfections are not enough reasons for you to leave them:

When you’re dating the one persay, you just have that love that compels you to want to see and bring out the best in them.

So their Imperfections are never a deal breaker for you. It could be how they look or behave, but instead of that scaring you away, it pulls you closer to them to help them be better. Same goes for them seeing you the same way.

4. They are always willing to work on the relationship:

Being in a relationship requires more than love. It requires understanding and the willingness to work together even in times of conflict. So when you’re dating the one, it just feels right that you both are always committed to making the relationship work especially in bad times. So that commitment towards it, shows you that you’re with the one unlike situations where some persons easily quit the relationship when things go rough.

5. You’ve faced challenges together and your relationship is still standing strong:

This is one very valuable point as it shows your deep level of love, understanding, and commitment towards each other whether emotionally, financially, physically and otherwise. If you both have faced some challenges together, and you always find a way to overcome it and still stick together, it means you are with “The one” no doubt.

6. You’re always featured in their future:

When you’re with the one, you just notice they are always including you in their plans and everything that’s very important to their lives. This shows how important they see and take you, and also how they really want you to be a part of them. The same goes for you. You just see yourself including them in your plans and future.

7. They talk about you and show you off:

Once you’re with the one, you’ll notice how well they show you off to their family and friends. They don’t keep you a secret as they’ll always want the people close to them to know about you. And they’ll often brag about you. Same goes for how you feel and act towards that one person you really desire.

8. You just feel it deep within:

When you’re with that one person, your guts just tells you so. Deep within everything about them just sits right with you and you feel it that he or she is the one. And truthfully, your instincts rarely mislead you. So you just trust it.

These primary signs tell you that you are with “the one”.

So I hope this article was helpful.

Do enjoy a great relationship life with that one person and thanks for reading.

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How I ended up marrying my father’s wife

Written by ALICE GINIKA SIMEON

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Marriage

A man who goes by the name   “John” (real name withheld), has brought himself out to the media to disclose how he got married to his father’s wife.

According to him, he said it all started some years ago when he returned from the city to visit home. His dad who was married to three wives already at that time, was planning to still take in a Fourth wife.

He said he ca​​me from a polygamous family in the southern part of Nigeria as his mother is the second wife owing to the fact that his dad is a Chief.

So the life of polygamy wasn’t something rare or abnormal to his people. But to him, he was never cool with it.

In his own words, read his story.

“Coming from a polygamous family was never something to be proud of for me. Infact as a child, I detested my father so much for marrying my mother as a second wife. My whole family as at that time knew how angry being in the family made me feel. But nothing changed.

When I was 18, now my dad was already in his late 50s, the news of him wanting to take in a 3rd wife started spreading. I remember walking to my father angrily and threatening him (lolzz), well nothing changed. It didn’t stop him. He finally took in a very young lady in her 20s.

I was badly hurt with that new addition that I had to leave home. I traveled out to another state entirely to stay with my mum’s family.

I didn’t go home for years because I really wanted nothing to do with my dad and his polygamist personality.

10 years later, my step mum who was my dad’s first wife died so I had to come in for the burial.

Just after a week she was buried, my dad and his people decided it was time to marry another wife, that’s the fourth one now.

I went straight into the meeting of my dad and his elders and clearly gave a warning that my dad shouldn’t think of it because I will not sit still and watch that happen.

Well, I guess they thought I was joking until i did what I did.

Three days after their meeting, a very beautiful and young girl in her mid 20s was brought home to be my father’s wife.

At first, all I wanted to do was cause trouble by chasing her back and upsetting my father and his kinsmen. But when I saw how beautiful, calm and humble the lady was, I had to think of another strategy.

Now before you think I just dived in straight to take her from my father, noooo there was more to that.

By tradition, she was supposed to move into my father’s chambers one month after my step mum’s burial. But she has to be in the household before then to learn certain things from the other wives. So I had to use within that period to plan something different.

I started by confronting her the next day after she came. I got her into an interrogative discussion, and yes I was so rude to her. But after asking her so many questions as to why she would want to succumb to marrying someone old enough to be her dad, I got to find out that she was a very brilliant person with great dreams who was only trying to take care of her family and do their wish by marrying my dad because her family wouldn’t have it another way.

From that day, we got into more conversations, and I started seeing more to her than just a naive girl trying to obey her family.

Well, the truth is, when you keep getting closer to people or knowing them more, there’s every tendency to start liking them. And that was what happened.

I started liking her, well, even though nobody in the family noticed at the time, but I started hanging out with her and we really started going deep with our friendship.

And finally, the both of us fell in love within three weeks she came into our household.

I had to confide in my mum about the recent development, but she wouldn’t hear of it. But that didn’t stop me anyway.

I told myself, if I waited one more week, my beautiful found love will be married to my dad,  and no one will back me to stop it.

So I did just one thing, some days to their marriage, after speaking to her with much assurance of a better life with me, The both of us eloped.

I already had money to start a new life, so it was all a little easy.

I dropped a letter behind for my mum and the family, changed my phone number, infact I went on ghost mode after running away with my father’s to be wife.

We started of in another state, we started of a business together, I pushed her to school and we really built ourselves for 5 years. Even though we stayed far and away from both our families as that was the sacrifice we had to pay, but in the end, it was worth it.

Message got to me in that 5th year that my dad was So sick and needed to see me as he might not make it.

I was scared but also desperate to fix things now by seeing him.

I went home finally, and to my surprise, instead of the hostile welcome I was expecting to meet, the whole family welcomed me.

My dad and I spoke about everything that had happened, I apologized and he said he was okay as long as I loved her. He told me how being a polygamist wasn’t his personality but he was not too bold to fight against tradition like I could.

Before my dad passed, I brought her home immediately and both her family and mine united together to get us married properly.

Today, we are doing incredibly okay with our lives and our kids.

And that was the end of forceful polygamy struggle in my family. It is now a matter of choice and not a force for who doesn’t want it.

So, this is the story of how I ended up marrying my father’s wife (almost to be wife anyway).

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