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[OPINION] How I Overcame Premature Ejaculation Without Drugs

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I felt so disappointed each time it happened. My wife was very understanding, but the thinly-veiled pain she felt each time left me deflated emotionally.

My ego was in the mud. I needed to do something fast.

In the office I confided in an older colleague. For the sake of privacy let’s call him Mr Oz. He smiled and told me he’d give me a pill that would solve my problem.

When he placed the pill in my palm he told me take it like an hour before having sex with my wife. I got home, popped the pill and waited for my wife to finish cooking so I’d eat and we’d do selima nkuli.

As I waited for my wife, I noticed I began to experience a headache that kept rising in intensity. My head pounded quite heavily. When my wife was ready for us to hit the sheets, my penis was shrivelled like a centenarian’s vein. The headache refused to abate and I didn’t perform wonders.

Back at the office the next day, I told Mr Oz what happened. He brought out the pills and a look at one he told me perhaps the milligrams he gave me wasn’t good for me. He advised that I should go for a lower one. At that point I was already aghast. I told him not to bother.

I got home that night and confessed to my wife everything that happened the night before. She was terrified and angry at the same time, but she saw through my struggles and promised she’d help me beat it. Her promise was solemn and factual.

What did I do and what happened?

  1. I felt safe and reassured because my wife prodived an emotional space for me. She didn’t curse me out or ram my ego into the mud.

To beat premature ejaculation, your partner’s disposition must be such that supports your decision on the journey to beat it. If your partner constantly slams you after each episode of failure, your anxiety levels will be so high that you can’t perform.

If your wife constantly berates you with her words each time your attempt fails, you may see sex as fearful. That can never help your situation.

The spousal support must be established. Both of you must have frank conversations about this if you’re to solve the problem.

  1. I began to study tantric sex. Growing up, lots of us learnt about sex from porn movies and what our fellow teenagers told us. For many guys, the end goal is just to ejaculate – a whambam approach that is selfish most times.

Tantric sex is a slow, meditative form of sex where the end goal is not orgasm but enjoying the sexual journey and sensations of the body. It aims to move sexual energy throughout the body for healing, transformation, and enlightenment.

You can light scented candles in the room and play slow sensual music while both of you are enjoying yourselves.

This form of sex makes you focus on pleasuring your partner. It removes selfishness and that can aid with anxiety. Some forms of tantric sex can last up to 3 hours. That way you’re relaxed and can enjoy sex.

  1. I began to change diet. Doctors will tell you that refined sugars aren’t good for your sexual health. Nutritionists will tell you so. Note the word – refined sugar.

Refined foods, alcohol, and junks food contains refined sugars that aren’t good for your penile performances. Abolish them.

Instead, begin to go for natural sugars in fruits that are also act as aphrodisiacs. Natural aphrodisiacs are artichokes, asparagus, figs, oysters, strawberries, watermelon, tigernuts. Get the ones you can get and begin to consume. Watermelon is the easiest one can lay his hands on.

  1. Reduce your stress levels. Stress is a very powerful element that causes premature ejaculation. Mine was part of it. Sadly, many men are so under stress due to economic demands. They work lmlong hours and return home late. Men who live in Lagos that leave home at 4 AM and return at 10 PM are consistently under stress. Consequently, their sexual performances are weakened by stress.

Whichever way you can, reduce your stress levels. Rest adequately. Sleep adequately.

  1. Exercise. Though I didn’t do much of this back then, but health experts have established that exercise helps men sexually. It could be moderate to high strength exercises in the gym.

They say that regular exercise can boost your libido, improve your sex life, and reduce the chances of experiencing pain during sex. Strength exercises can increase your testosterone levels, but squats can also increase blood flow to the pelvic region,

  1. Allow your woman to be on top during sex. I know some men feel this is emasculatory, but when your woman is on top, she controls the game and allows you relax more. She does the thrusting and enjoys herself while controlling the rhythms. With her on top and communicating with you, she can easily pull away when you’re close to ejaculation, hindering it, and getting back on top when the pressure ebbs.

You also try out styles that don’t let you ejaculate easily. I can thump for minutes from the back and never ejaculate.

For me, I hardly ejaculate via doggy style, but missionary and with thumbs on my nipples, I’m in heaven. So, explore. Explore and explore.

  1. Be patient. It takes time for natural reversals to happen. It may be frustrating at first, but it happens. Be patient.
  2. Go check your vitals. Experts say diabetes and high blood pressure can affect sexual performances. So, go get your vitals checked. Check your blood sugar and blood pressure and if things are out of shape, you begin the journey of reshaping things.

I wish you well.

Emeka Nobis

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Health

Neptune Prime publisher to unveil cancer clinic, school, foundation for late journalists’ families as son weds in Yobe

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publisher of Neptune Prime newspapers, Dr Hassan Gimba
Publisher of Neptune Prime newspapers, Dr Hassan Gimba

The publisher of Neptune Prime newspapers, Dr Hassan Gimba, has announced plans to commission three major projects in his home state, Yobe State

In an invitation letter sent to newsmen on Wednesday, the publisher disclosed that the event, which is scheduled to take place on August 31, is coinciding with the wedding Fatiha of his son, Barrister Suleiman Gimba.

According to the letter, the wedding Fatiha will take place by 11:00am at the residence of Mohammed Babate, Behind Water Board, Army Barracks, Potiskum.

“Immediately after the wedding Fatihah, we will be commissioning the Hafsatu Gimba Ahmed Memorial School located at VIO Street, Unguwar Jaji, Potiskum.

“This institution is dedicated to the memory of my late mother, aiming to serve the educational needs of our community,” the letter noted.

Dr Gimba added that as part of the launch programme, the Abubakar Monja Lifeline Foundation for Late Journalists’ Families, which he founded to cater to the families of journalists who have passed away, will be empowering youths it trained in tailoring and plumbing.

“Additionally, I would like to invite you to inspect the ongoing construction of the Lami Fatima Babare Cancer Outreach and Clinic situated nearby, also in Unguwar Jaji.

“The clinic is an initiative of the Lami Fatima Babare Cervical Cancer Foundation, which was founded in 2020 – in memory of my late wife, Lami Fatima Babare – to provide medical services and referrals to cancer patients,” the letter noted.

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Health

Enugu State Gov’t Moves to Revamp Oji River College of Health Technology,

…beefs up security

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Health Technology in Oji River

The Enugu State Government has announced its intention to revamp the existing infrastructural facilities to give the Enugu State College of Health Technology in Oji River a face-lift and also scale-up institution to a technology-savvy citadel of learning.

The government made this known during a meeting with the management, staff, and students of the institution at the Enugu State Government House at the weekend, stressing its commitment to ensuring quality health service delivery in the state.

The government, which made this known through the Special Adviser on Health Matters, Dr. Yomi Jaye, also asked the students of the institution to go back to school and continue with their academic calendar, as all those involved in the recent breach of security in the school’s neighborhood had been rounded up and now facing the law.

The governor equally gave the college management a two-week ultimatum  to develop a workplan, which the government would work on to ensure that the school functions at its optimum level.

Briefing Government House correspondents after the meeting, Dr. Jaye said, “We interacted with the management, staff and students of the Enugu State College of Health Technology, Orji River, to come up with a strategic plan to revamp the college and restore its lost glory.

His Excellency, Governor Peter Mbah, has expressed his willingness not only to revamp the school, but to upscale it to a technology-savvy teaching community.

“As you can see, the government is bullish about building Type-2 Healthcare Centre in each of the 260 wards and this college will produce some of the qualified workers that will deliver quality healthcare services to Ndi Enugu.

“We appeal to the parents and guardians to allow the students to go back to school and resume their academic activities as more security personnel have been deployed to make sure that both Oji River and its neighbouring communities are properly secured.

“It is also important to inform you that those who perpetrated the security breach have since been arrested and the victims, which included one student, also freed,” he maintained.

Also speaking, the Provost of the College, Dr. Lazarus Ezugwu, expressed his happiness over the state government’s move to revamp the institution, saying he was optimistic that the glory of the institution would be restored in no distant time.

When commending Governor Peter Mbah and the security agencies for their swift response to the recent security breach at the College, he also confirmed that security had been strengthened around the institution and Oji River in general.

“The meeting is such a commendable one. It goes a long way in telling us the type of visionary leader we have in the state. To be sincere, the total overhaul that will be done in the college is going to be enormous. What is coming to the college cannot be imagined because the governor has shown both special interest and political will. This is what we have been yearning for, for so many years,” Dr. Ezugwu stated.

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Health

FP2030 Report Links Family Planning & Gender Equality

…The 2023 data report reveals that more women and girls than ever have access to family planning

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FP2030 Report
Source - internet: mother and child having a moment

FP2030 has launched its 2023 measurement report, Meeting the Moment: Family Planning and Gender Equality.

FP2030 Report
Dr. Martin Migombano-FP2030

The 2023 report shows significant achievements in family planning across the globe, even in the face of stagnant funding.

Speaking during the launch of the 2023 annual measurement report in Washington DC, Dr. Samukeliso Dube, FP2030 executive director, said:

“In this report, you will hear more success stories: more people than ever before are using voluntary, rights-based contraception. You will also learn more about the opportunities ahead.”

The links between family planning and gender equality are the central theme of this year’s measurement report.

The data set covers 85 countries, including for the first time Botswana and Namibia, two middle-income countries that have now made commitments to FP2030, and Jordan, which has moved into the lower-middle income category.

The report showed that in the 85 countries reviewed there are over 1 billion women of reproductive age; an estimated 377 million of those women are using a modern method of contraception, 92 million more than were using a method in 2012. 

“This year’s report comes at a critical time in our movement. We are at the intersection of several crises: globally, 800 women are dying every day in childbirth. 218 million women in the global south countries have an unmet need for modern contraception – meaning they want to avoid a pregnancy but are not using a modern method,” added Dr. Dube.

The movement for rights-based family planning is an integral part of the global push for gender equality.

Gender is at the root of every person’s ability to make and carry out decisions about sex, contraception, and sexual and reproductive health.

As the global push for gender equality gains strength, FP2030 affirms the central importance of rights-based, gender-transformative family planning. 

Dr Sheila Macharia -FP2030 Report
Dr Sheila Macharia

The report is the first to fully reflect the impact of FP2030’s move to decentralize from one secretariat in Washington DC, to five regional hubs in Nairobi, Kenya; Abuja, Nigeria; Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia; and Panama City, Panama; to ensure that the partnership is driven by regional priorities.

The report contains demographic updates from each region, as well as a special focus on postpartum family planning, a topic chosen by the Regional Hubs, as a high impact practice with demonstrated ability to improve maternal and newborn health outcomes and increase uptake of contraception.

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