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9 ways to talk to women and make them like you

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By: Nmerichukwu Igweamaka

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. At least this is what we have been told.

There was a book written with that title awhile back and to me, it served to create the illusion that men and women are polar opposites in terms of species and have little hope of ever really understanding each other.

What this author did not realize is that men as individuals are very different from each other. You cannot start an argument with “Men are all ……” and not look ignorant, because all men aren’t anything.

The same is true with women. Not all women are alike. What makes each person wonderful is that they are individuals. They each have their own loves and hates, hopes and dreams.

I know this looks hopeless. If all women are different individuals with different tastes and ideas, how in the name of all things Holy can you learn to talk to each and every one of them? Fear not! What I am about to share with you is a secret. It is the secret of how to talk to anyone no matter who they are and to build interest and ultimately love with them.

Underneath the clothing of skin and bones, we are perfect people. We have crappy baggage and things in our past that haunt us but these things are not us and we know that.

No one likes to be reminded of the bad parts of themselves or their painful past. What we are most proud of is who we are innately. We are most proud of the perfect person underneath. When you talk to a woman (or a man or a child) look for the perfect person and talk to him or her.

In some people it is easier to see this perfect person than in others, and in some it is so hidden by strange pseudo personalities and other weird baggage that it is almost absent. If the person you are talking to makes it too hard to access that perfect person underneath, move on. Find someone who doesn’t have as much baggage. And whatever you do, don’t waste your time talking to pseudo personalities. They just aren’t worth it.

Practice this skill 

Go to the supermarket or somewhere where you will have to interact with people. When you get to the check out, find something you like about the checkout person.

I find that women love jewelry and take time and effort to choose and wear pieces that look nice. If you find a piece of jewelry on them and you comment favorably to them about it, you will be met with the person looking up and seeingyou and not some nameless, faceless person. They will automatically start feeling a little better about you.

This is the easy part. You don’t have to be dazzling or brilliant. All you have to be is a good listener and respond with things that are pertinent to the subject at hand. It really is a piece of cake.

For example, you have just commented favorably on a piece of jewelry (or a sweater or scarf) and the conversation has started. Generally they will tell you a little bit about the piece. “Oh, my mom bought it for me for my birthday!’ You then smile and say “What a great mom you have!” or something that you know she will agree with.

Resist with all your might the impulse to start talking about yourself. This conversation is all about her. If you keep this up each time you go through the checkout line, you will find that soon you are friends. From there an invitation for coffee is a perfect next step to get to know each other better.

There is no quicker way to make someone hate your guts than to take an opposing viewpoint to theirs and then try to convince them that they are wrong. Let’s say your adorable check out person has accepted your invite for coffee! Yay!  This is a big step. Don’t blow it now by trying to impress her with how smart, big, or strong you are, and how dumb, weak, and misguided she is. If you do this, this will be your last date and you will have no one to blame but yourself. Instead find things that you agree on.

If you disagree on politics, avoid that subject like a five day old burrito stub that you have just dug up from under the sofa because your negative comments on the subject will be just about as welcome. Stick to the things you wholeheartedly agree on and you will be fine.

Your adorable clerk is a woman. She has had her share of guys trying to cosy up to her and get close. Respect her by giving her space. Trying to move in too close when she is not ready for that is a violation of her limits. To her this may mean that if you violate limits now, who knows what limits will be violated when she allows you into her world?

Brush your teeth and comb your hair. Don’t stink at all! I know I shouldn’t have to say this but sometimes people don’t know they stink. Make sure you don’t! If you just had coffee and a cigarette, chew some gum or something!

Check your teeth and make sure you don’t have anything stuck in them. Don’t look all rumpled unless it is sexy rumpled. Pay a little attention to your wardrobe. Look clean and don’t wear old threadbare clothes. No one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself and your outward appearance is an indicator of your respect level for yourself.

Don’t worry if you are a little overweigh or feel you are too short or have any other personal attribute that bothers you. Most people don’t even notice these things. If they do and do not want to talk to you because of them, they are not worth it anyway. Move on! There are many wonderful ladies out there who are looking for a caring and nice person like you.

Most people love gifts but there are times when gifts are unwelcome. Let’s say you and your beautiful clerk are now having dinner together this evening. It is perfectly appropriate to give her flowers but don’t give her flowers, chocolate in a heart shaped box and a new car.

She does not want to be put under an obligation and too many gifts make her feel that she now has to do something for you. While this may sound great, it feels awful. Have you ever shown up at work and forgotten that it was pot luck day and you brought nothing? How did you feel? Did you go around telling everyone that you forgot it was pot luck day and then ate only chips? Did you sneak out the back and give the whole thing a miss because the obligation was just too much? Do you see what I mean?

If you want to impress her, wash and clean your car. Ask her what kind of movie she likes or what she likes to eat and make reservations at a restaurant you know she will love. Take time to create an evening that she will find magical. What will impress her is the care you took and the respect you had for her to take that time.

Remember! Not all women are desirable just because they are women or because they are pretty. A pretty snake can still kill you and a woman who is negative, antagonistic, or passive aggressive (also referred to as covertly hostile) will make your life, and the life of any children you may have, miserable.

Think ahead before getting serious. If you find that your future girlfriend is one of these types, give her a hearty “So long, farewell, auf wiedershen and don’t let the screen door hit you in the ass on the way out!”

A warm and loving woman with a twinkle in her eye and a sense of humor is far more desirable than a pretty psycho. Beauty can fade over time when it is only on the surface. Real beauty that you see when you see the perfect person underneath is forever. Life is a tough game and only someone who has integrity, compassion and commitment will be there for you when you really need her.

The others, if they are self centered or psycho will be long gone the minute you need a friend the most.

Let’s face it, even though you are wonderful, dazzling and brilliant, you may not be someone’s cup of cherries or bowl of tea as far as future boyfriend material is concerned. It happens. If it is clear that she does not want a relationship, then ok. You are not wrong and neither is she. Perhaps you can be friends. One can never have too many nice people in one’s life.

There you have it! The important information on how to talk to anyone. Now go forth young Jedi warrior and use your power for good. I expect an invite to your wedding or at least send me a slice of the wedding cake!

Credits: Thetrentonline.com

GrassRoots.ng is on a critical mission; to objectively and honestly represent the voice of ‘grassrooters’ in International, Federal, State and Local Government fora; heralding the achievements of political and other leaders and investors alike, without discrimination. This daily, digital news publication platform serves as the leading source of up-to-date information on how people and events reflect on the global community. The pragmatic articles reflect on the life of the community people, covering news/current affairs, business, technology, culture and fashion, entertainment, sports, State, National and International issues that directly impact the locals.

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GR Diary

Gbenjo, Alaseyori, Olaoba, Chigozie Wisdom Headline SIFAX Group Thanksgiving 2.0

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2024 SIFAX Group Thanksgiving
The lineup of top gospel artists

The stage is set, the anticipation is palpable, and the excitement is already building as SIFAX Group unveils its lineup of top gospel artists for the much-anticipated 2024 SIFAX Group Thanksgiving and Night of Praise celebration.

The event is set to hold on Thursday, December 12, 2024, at the Lagos Marriott Hotel, Ikeja, Lagos.

The night’s lineup features an array of celebrated gospel stars, including Bidemi Olaoba, Laolu Gbenjo, Beejay Sax, Adeyinka Alaseyori and Chigozie Wisdom.

The event will also feature performances from Woli Agba, Titilayo Eyinjujesu, Abosede Akande, Nonny Chorale and Daminator Dance Group.
Themed I will Rejoice, the event, which is in its second year, promises an uplifting atmosphere filled with soulful melodies, heartfelt prayers, and vibrant expressions of gratitude for the milestones and blessings of the year.

Dr. Taiwo Afolabi, Group Chairman, SIFAX Group, said the event was an avenue to appreciate God for his faithfulness in the outgoing year:

“We are thrilled to bring together our board, management, staff, clients and other stakeholders to celebrate the goodness of God we have enjoyed in 2024.

It has been an interesting year laced with a lot of challenges and accomplishments.

This Night of Praise reflects our commitment to showing gratitude to God for His divine support for our businesses and our people.”

Attendees can expect electrifying live performances, a vibrant choir, and opportunities for communal worship, all within a beautifully curated setting designed to uplift and inspire. The event will also feature special segments for praise, worship, and words of encouragement from renowned speakers.

The event will be livestreamed on all the company’s official social media channels to extend the experience to the company’s online community.

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Events

Speakers to Discuss How to Restore Nigerians’ Confidence in the Judiciary

…A collection of eminently qualified personalities will on Friday November 29 engage in the discourse on how to bring back the confidence of Nigerians in the nation’s judiciary.

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Nigerian Judiciary
Eminent speakers

The event, the Gavel International Annual Lecture with the theme: “The Judiciary as the last hope of the common man, media and legal perspectives” will be hosting Prof Hope Eghagha, Mr. Richard Akinnola, Mr. Ebun-Olu Adegboruwa SAN, Mrs. Joke Layi-Babatunde, and Mrs. Asabe Waziri as the panel discussants.

The panel will be coordinated by Chief Anthony George-Ikoli SAN.

At the event, the Attorney General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, Prince Lateef Fagbemi will deliver the Keynote Address while  Nigeria’s top business lawyer, Mr. Gbenga Oyebode MFR will serve as chairman  Former General Secretary of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), Mr. Dele Adesina SAN will deliver the main lecture.

George-Ikoli is a former Attorney-General of Bayelsa State and the first Senior Advocate from the state. A passionate advocate of the Justice system, George-Ikoli will bring his wealth of experience to bear on the discussions.

Prof Eghagha, is a highly experienced teacher of English Literature and Literary Analysis at the Faculty of Arts, University of Lagos and researcher of dramatic theory and criticism.
He is a playwright, poet, novelist, biographer, columnist and member of The Guardian newspaper’s editorial board. Through his weekly newspaper opinion articles, he explores the complex challenges facing Nigeria.

Prof. Eghagha also served as the Commissioner for Higher Education in Delta State from 2009 to 2014. In 1999, he was named Honorary Colonel of the Commonwealth of Kentucky United States, and Honorary Captain of the Belle of Louisville.

A distinguished academic Eghagha was made appointed professor in 2010. He was also Acting Dean of the Faculty of Arts, University of Lagos in 2015 and Head of the Department of English, University of Lagos from 2016 to 2019. In December 2023, he was appointed Education Consultant to the Delta State Government.

Richard Akinnola is a legal affairs journalist, legal historian, media law specialist, media trainer, and author of 18 books on law, media, human rights and politics.

A respected law columnist, at various times, he was a pioneer staff of The Guardian, Vanguard, and Judicial Editor of the Concord Group. One of the founders of Civil Liberties Organisation (CLO), the first Human Rights body in Nigeria, established in 1987, he is currently  Director, Centre for Media Law and Advocacy, member of the Board of Partnership for Justice and founder of Richard Akinnola Foundation and NGO that takes care of widows of journalists and activists. Akinnola is the publisher/Editor-in-Chief of COURTROOM; Publisher/Editor-in-Chief of MEDIA LAW and Publisher/Editor-in-Chief of CORRUPTION CASES JOURNAL.
Ebun-Olu Adegboruwa, Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN), is a well regarded rights advocate and legal luminary. Adegboruwa attended the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, the Nigerian Law School, Lagos, and was called to the Nigerian Bar in 1995. He served as counsel at Gani Fawehinmi Chambers from 1995 to 2000 and later founded his law firm, Ebun-Olu Adegboruwa & Co.

He has been an activist and rights crusader for most part of his life. He was the Public Relations Officer of the Student’s Union of Obafemi Awolowo University, and later the Union’s President.

He was a member of the Senate of the National Association of Nigerian Students and member of the Committee for the Defence of Human Rights, Civil Liberties Organization, Campaign for Democracy,  President, GSM Subscribers and other Phone users Association of Nigeria and founder of Law and Justice Forum and Millennium Legal Support Services.

He is also a Pastor at the Redeemed Christian Church of God.

Mrs. Adejoke Layi-Babatunde is an alumnus of  Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife and the Nigerian Law School, Lagos. She is a results-driven and accomplished law publisher with an exceptional talent for developing and launching new publications. With a keen eye for detail and exceptional interpersonal and communication skills, Layi-Babatunde  easily stands out and is well known for her collaborative approach to leadership.

She is an author and life coach and sits on several boards. She has featured as a keynote speaker in several national and international conferences. Her editorial board position at a legal entity covering Africa reflects her deep industry involvement.

She has spearheaded pivotal roles, including being Deputy CEO at Lawbreed Limited, driving publication of Supreme Court judgments and publications aimed at equipping lawyers for greater success as well as overseeing corporate social relations. Her blend of experience, skills, and commitment positions her as a valuable asset to organizations at various phases of growth and this has earned her several awards one of which is the ESQ Nigeria Legal awards  Amazon of the Year 2021.

Mrs. Layi-Babatunde started her career at the Legal Department of Nigeria Industrial Development Bank (now Bank of Industry. She is a life member of WIMBIZ (Women in Business and Management), Lagos Chamber of Commerce & industry,  Chairperson, Mentoring Committee of FIDA Lagos chapter and FIDA International Editorial Board and the vice-chairperson of the Professional Development Committee of the Ikeja chapter of the Nigerian Bar Association.

Asabe Waziri is a petroleum engineer and a respected professional in the oil and gas industry, with nearly three decades of experience. She is also the founder of the Asabe Waziri Justice Advocacy Initiative (AWJAI), an organization inspired by her  profound encounter with injustice. Driven to help others navigate the complex Nigerian justice system, Asabe established AWJAI to address critical issues faced by vulnerable communities.

In just over a year, AWJAI has made significant strides in combating illegal evictions, gender-based violence, monitoring compliance with the Administration of Criminal Justice Act (ACJA), addressing professional misconduct, and tackling prison overcrowding.

The Publisher of Gavel International, Mustapha Ogunsakin explained that the 2024 annual lecture is designed to kick off conversations on the restoration of confidence of the Nigerian people in the nation’s judiciary which appears to be at an all time low.

“During the #Endsars protests in 2020, a very major court building, the Lagos High Court, Igbosere was razed by a mob. We saw the horrendous pictures of the burnt court, particularly one of the arsonists in a lawyer’s garb of wig and gown, with a machete in his hand. For me, that is very scary imagery. We must begin to restore the hope of the common man, if not in other organs of government, but in the judiciary. The other alternative is anarchy,” he said.

Ogunsakin  posited that legal and media professions saddled with direct constitutional roles in the judicial system are best positioned to restore confidence in the judiciary.  “While the role of the legal profession is statutory, the media has the responsibility to represent the people by covering and reporting court proceedings, except it has to do with national security or cases involving minors. That is why the constitution made provision for a public gallery in every court where journalists occupy to report cases and disseminate to the public,” he noted.

Gavel International has over the years hosted lectures and conferences in pursuit of its guiding principle — Rule of Law. In 2015, Gavel International presented a book, “For the love of their Nation, Lawyers as Agents of Change in Nigeria’’ authored by the publisher, Mustapha Ogunsakin.

The public presentation of this book was done by the then Vice President, Prof Yemi Osinbajo SAN. Others in attendance at the event include Mr. Eyitayo Jegede SAN, then the Attorney General of Ondo State, Chief Anthony George-Ikoli SAN, the first SAN from Bayelsa State and a former Attorney General of the State, Mr. Ade Ipaye and a host of others.

In 2020 when the COVID-19 pandemic raged, it managed to host a stellar webinar conference, bringing together some of the most brilliant minds across the country to discuss on the topic: “Media Coverage of Virtual Court Proceedings: Prospects and Challenges. Prof. Osinbajo delivered the Keynote Address and was joined by others like human rights activist, Femi Falana SAN, Bode Olanipekun SAN, Prof Chidi Odinkalu, Dr Reuben Abati to discuss the topic.

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Events

Hamzat, Abiru To Speak on Impactful Empowerment For Nigerians At TheGazelleNews Annual Public Lecture

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TheGazelleNews

TheGazelleNews, a leading online newspaper, is set to host its much-anticipated annual public lecture on Thursday, December 5, 2024, at the Radisson Blu Hotel, Isaac John Street, GRA, Ikeja, Lagos.

This year’s lecture will focus on a topic of crucial national importance: “Poverty Alleviation: Fantasies, Expectations, and Realities of People’s Empowerment.”

The event will convene distinguished speakers, thought leaders, and government officials to address the challenges and practical solutions surrounding poverty reduction and empowerment in Nigeria.

It will feature Dr. Kadri Obafemi Hamzat, Deputy Governor of Lagos State, as the Guest Speaker, who is expected to bring a wealth of experience in governance and infrastructure development to the discourse. As the Keynote Speaker, Senator Mukhail Adetokunbo Abiru, a renowned legislator and financial expert, will share valuable insights into policy-driven approaches for sustainable poverty alleviation.

A dynamic panel discussion will follow, featuring prominent personalities: Engineer (Dr.) Adekunle Olayinka, FNSE – Special Adviser on Works to the Lagos State Government; Ms. Abisola Olusanya – Commissioner for Agriculture and Food Systems, Lagos State, who will provide perspectives on the agricultural sector’s role in empowering communities; Comrade Tosin Adeyanju – Executive Secretary of the National Lottery Trust Fund (NLTF), focusing on community development through structured funding and Honorable Rasaq Ajala – Executive Chairman, Odi-Olowo/Ojuwoye LCDA, who will be contributing insights on local government initiatives.

Goodwill messages will be delivered by: the Senate Leader, Senator Micheal Opeyemi Bamidele; the Chairman of the Senate Committee on Environment, Senator Yunus Abiodun Akintunde; the Chairman of Winners Golden Group, Honourable Idowu Osuolale Obasa; and the Special Adviser to the President on Public Communications and National Orientation, Chief Sunday Dare.

The event will be graced by prominent personalities in government and public service, with Nigeria First Lady, Senator Oluremi Tinubu, CON, serving as the Special Guest of Honour; Senate President, Senator Godswill Akpabio as the Chairman of the occasion and the Lagos State Governor, Mr. Babajide Olusola Sanwo-Olu, will be the Chief Host.

The Father of the Day is seasoned politician noted for his connection with the people especially at the grassroots level, Senator Ganiyu Olanrewaju Solomon (GOS), and Mother of the Day, Her Excellency Princess Adejoke Orelope-Adefulire, reflecting her longstanding commitment to social empowerment and women’s issues and of course her role as the Senior Special Assistant to the President on Sustainable Development Goals.

In a celebration of excellence and dedication to public service, TheGazelleNews will present its prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award to Prince Tajudeen Oluyole Olusi, Chairman of the Lagos State Governance Advisory Council (GAC).

A highly respected political figure and royal prince from the Akinsemoyin ruling house of Lagos, Prince Olusi has made impactful contributions as a former Lagos City Councilor, House of Representatives member in the Second Republic, and Commissioner in Lagos State. His award highlights a career marked by unwavering dedication to Lagos and its citizens.

The day’s proceedings will be hosted by the dynamic compère duo, Gbenga Adeyinka and Feyikemi Niyi-Olayinka, who promise to guide the audience through an engaging and memorable event.

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