GR Diary
Think you know Lagos…read this
By Lazyreporta
On the Island of the affluent in Lagos, I rarely hear aircraft buzzing in the sky, except the posh helicopters of the busy rich. The airport and flight noise don’t affect the airspace, it only devalues the land.
The rich pretend to pray, but God is on the Mainland, land on the island is too expensive to build many worship centers.
The Island was not built for Beer. It is the hub of champagne, spirits, and wines. Beer is for the road, an appetizer bottled on the Mainland.
The Mainland is crowded with families. Life on the island has no friends. Everything is cash or ‘waka’. The roads are expensively tolled, the schools are US ‘Dollard’, and a smile might cost some ‘Nairas’.
The Island expands while the Mainland remains the same. Under neon lights, millions of Mainland ‘ants’ trample on the Third Mainland Bridge into the Island of their dreams. Many die on the bridge, many earn a kobo, and many rob the others.
The Island goes to the Mainland, only to fly & buy cheaper foodstuffs (in bulk). Life on the mainland has many tribes. Bad roads and traffic jamborees in Enugu suburbs like Ago and Okota would eventually pursue ‘Omo Igbo’ to the East. The smart ones live in Yoruba neighborhoods, like itire, with Chinese constructed drainages. Sharp guys have moved into Surulere, the Governor’s neighborhood and the best place to drink. The number of youths in Festac makes one wonder if they ate their parents for dinner.
Ketu is a gang of Yoruba women hustling to breathe. Ikorodu can be great if it gets a bridge into the island. Yaba is the link between books, Aristos, ‘White House’ and an infamous Psyche ward (Yaba-left).yaba
Sex is on Allen, tax is a joyride at Alausa. Obanikoro is the name of a man on the Island and a place in the Mainland. Everything on the Mainland is made in Ilupeju, Ogba, Isolo, Agidingbi, and Oregun. Agbara is not on the Mainland, it’s in Ogun state, like Mowe and Ibafo.
Everything on the Island is imported from the Mainland ports of Apapa and Tin Can. The sound of Mazamaza and Okokomaiko can cure madness. Homes in Idi-Araba are waiting to collapse, thank God for LUTH; Igbobi’s Orthopedics is not too far away.
There is a Lagos state University campus in every Mainland corner; the main campus and a military cantonment are at Ojo. Musicians from Mushin and Ajegunle have monopolized the sympathy of poverty, while Egbeda and Ikotun get no pity.
If eyes are closed in Agege and Iddo when a train passes, one can pretend to be in Grand Central Station. Gbagadans usually pretend to be on the Island, but Oworonshoki can’t get away with such lies. Ogudu GRA insists on being distinct from a conjoined Ojota, while Amuwo-Odofin calls itself Festac Extension.
Iju and Ojodu villages are hyped by estate agents. Ebute-Metta is an old Yoruba phrase: “A place of three shores.” It is a decaying dream of British colonialism and Brazilian architecture.
Most of the residents of Magodo and Omole are Landlords. Maryland is not a saint and Anthony is not a Village. Igando and Ipaja are playing catching up with the state government.
Ikeja is the official capital of Lagos. The State House is on the Island, where the real capital is. Lagos deserves a special status in the constitution.
On the Island, money has relatives. Ikoyi and Victoria Island are twin sisters, posh from birth and wrinkled with age. Lekki is a distant cousin, taxing and full of fraudulent schemes. VGC and Eleko are wealthy uncles, isolated from others and always overseas. Nicon and Parkview are the pretty nieces with feigned American and British accents. Oniru and Elegushi are the nephews from the village, who recently found wealth and arrogance.
Ajah is the Step-sister, giving birth to children she can’t feed. Jakande and Igbo-Efon are broke In-laws, hardworking but always in need. Ibeju-Lekki and Epe are the Jilted aunts, feeding on promises and searching for suitors. Obalende is the lost brother without a mind, thought to be dead. Eko, Idumota, and Marina are Triplets of Royal descents, with trade on their minds, and power between their legs. Maroko is the baby that was aborted at Midterm. Makoko is the dirty bastard that wouldn’t disappear. Eko Atlantic City has recently left the incubator, hoping to survive. Many other siblings are just occupying space and causing traffic jams on the Island of the rich.
This is how I know I’m not on the Island: service attendants begging for money; Lastma officials lurking behind traffic lights; Dunghill switch is everywhere, and I can’t get an Iota of decency.
Credit: Lazyreporta (On Nairaland)
GR Diary
TestNigeria 3.0 Conference: Elevate Your QA Practices to Prevent Outages like CrowdStrike’s
….Sen. Salisu Shuaibu Afolabi, Chairman of the Senate Committee on ICT & Cybercrime, who will declare the conference open
The Nigerian Software Testing Qualifications Board (NGSTQB) has announced plans for the TestNigeria 3.0 Conference, set to take place on September 26, 2024, at the prestigious Radisson Blu Hotel in Ikeja GRA, Lagos, Lagos State.
With the compelling theme “Security in the Spotlight: Safeguarding Digital Frontiers through QA,” the conference aims to address the critical role of quality assurance (QA) in enhancing the security of digital ecosystems.
Why Attend TestNigeria 3.0?
Speaking ahead of the event, Mr Boye Dare, president of NGSTQB, said that the recent CrowdStrike incident, where a defect caused widespread disruptions for banks, hospitals, and airlines, underscores the urgent need for rigorous QA processes.
“Millions of PCs displayed ‘blue screens of death,’ highlighting the essential role of comprehensive testing.
“CrowdStrike has since committed to enhancing their software testing protocols, improving error handling, and adopting staggered deployments to prevent future issues”.
Mr. Dare said that TestNigeria 3.0 will provide attendees with the insights and tools to prevent similar disruptions in their own organisations.
Key Benefits of Attending:
- Learning from CrowdStrike’s Experience: Gain valuable insights into preventing large-scale outages. Understand the importance of thorough testing, robust error handling, and strategic deployment to safeguard your organisation against similar issues.
- Expert-Led Sessions and Panels: Engage with industry leaders and experts in software testing and security. Participate in discussions covering the latest advancements, strategies, and technologies to enhance your QA processes.
- Networking Opportunities: Connect with professionals across various sectors. Exchange ideas, share experiences, and build collaborations that can drive innovation and improvement in your QA practices.
- Cutting-Edge Trends and Innovations: Stay updated on the latest trends and technologies in software testing. Learn how to integrate security into your QA processes to protect your digital frontiers and ensure the resilience of your software systems.
- Professional Development: Benefit from the expertise of NGSTQB, a leading organisation dedicated to promoting excellence in software testing in Nigeria. Discover how the Test Maturity Model integration (TMMi) can aid in test process improvement and compliance.
Conference Highlights:
- Elevating Security Consciousness in QA Practices: Prioritise security at every stage of the software development lifecycle to proactively identify and mitigate risks.
- Integrating Security Testing into QA Processes: Incorporate methodologies like penetration testing, vulnerability assessment, and code review into your QA processes to address security weaknesses before they can be exploited.
- Collaboration and Knowledge Sharing: Foster collaboration among QA professionals, cybersecurity experts, and industry stakeholders to collectively tackle evolving security challenges.
- Regulatory Compliance and Governance: Align QA processes with regulatory mandates such as NDPR, GDPR, HIPAA, PCI DSS, and ISO/IEC 27001 to demonstrate commitment to safeguarding sensitive data and protecting privacy rights.
- Empowering Stakeholders through Education and Training: Equip QA professionals with the necessary knowledge and skills to navigate the complex landscape of security and QA through continuous learning and professional development initiatives.
Special Guest of Honour:
“We are honoured to welcome Sen. Salisu Shuaibu Afolabi, Chairman of the Senate Committee on ICT & Cybercrime, who will declare the conference open. We will also welcome Hon. Adedeji Stanley Olajide, the Chairman House Committee for ICT and Cybersecurity who will deliver the Keynote Address.
“The presence of these great lawmakers underscores the importance of this event and the critical role of QA in national cyber resilience”, he said.
About NGSTQB:
The Nigerian Software Testing Qualifications Board (NGSTQB) is dedicated to promoting excellence in software testing and quality assurance in Nigeria. As a member of the International Software Testing Qualifications Board (ISTQB®) and the local chapter for The TMMi Foundation, NGSTQB strives to enhance professional standards and practices in software testing through certification, education, and collaboration.
For more information and to register for the conference, please visit https://www.ngstqb.ng/conference
Stakeholders in the education circle are warming up for the maiden edition of Southeast Educators’ Conference 2024(SEEC’24).
The two-day SEEC’24 scheduled to hold 18th & 19th, April 2024 at Nike Lake Resort, Enugu under theme: Future-‘Focused Learning – Igniting the Competitive Edge’ promises to host key players in the education sector with a potential attendance of over 500 delegates.
The conference will feature a diverse lineup of speakers, covering topics ranging from holistic learning approaches to cutting-edge technology integration.
Speaking ahead of the conference, Mrs Doris Chinedu-Okoro, CEO, Evergreen Group, said SEEC’24 is the first of its kind in the Southeast region, presenting a historic opportunity for stakeholders to pioneer positive change in the local education sector.
“It brings together diverse perspectives and innovative ideas,fostering collaboration and networking among educators and stakeholders.
Hundreds of delegates will be in attendance.
“SEEC’24 is dedicated to exploring transformative practices, emphasising holistic learning, technology integration, global citizenship, life-long learning, and community engagement”, she said.
Mr. Osita Chidioka, the former Nigeria’s Minister of Aviation, who recently launched an online mentorship and leadership programme for Nigerian youths named Mekaria Mentorship Programme (MMP) Foundation Course, will deliver the keynote at SEEC’24.
Prof. Pieter Verdegem; Dr. Joy Isa, Mrs. Bukola Adewuiyi, Lady Uju Dike, Fr. John Njorteah, Alex Onyia, Rotimi Eyitayo, Rhoda Odigboh, Elfrida Diete-Spiff Omole, Dr. ChibuezeLawrence Ofobuike, Ify Obidi-Essien, Dr. Abimbola Ogundere, Angelina Ikeako, Odetola Ebenezer Israel and OgochukwuOnyia, are some of the speakers lined up for the event.
The Evergreen Group CEO added that the conference thrives on a vision to create a dynamic platform that equips educators with the tools and knowledge needed to make a lasting impact on the educational landscape of South-Eastern Nigeria.
SEEC’24 is open to School Owners, Heads of Schools (Public and Private), Educational Stakeholders, Counselors, Teachers, Parents, Investors, Startups, and others in the education ecosystem.
“Participants will have the opportunity to engage in two full days of conference sessions, diving deep into the future of Education.
“There will be ample networking opportunities with school leaders from across the geopolitical zone and beyond.
“The evening Gala Night promises a delightful atmosphere for dancing, dining, wining, and fostering deeper connections in a relaxed setting”, she further explained.
Registration is N100,000 via: https://bit.ly/3uTcv9e
· Experts to Discuss Trust, Security and Privacy in AI Era
Payments Forum Nigeria (PAFON), the cross-industry platform focused on addressing issues that require broad cooperation and coordination across many constituents in the payments industry, has attracted sponsorships from Digital Encode Limited, Cybervergent and Payble.
Financial industry experts are warming up for the first edition of PAFON, scheduled to take place at Oriental Hotel, Lekki Road, Lagos on Thursday March 21, 2024, by 9am.
The Forum aims at providing an inside-look at the industry, offering perspectives from key stakeholders, including payment networks, technology innovators, leading merchants, issuers, acquirers and payment processors.
Throughout the years, the finance world has shifted into something much more than just banking and big corporations.
Speaking ahead of the star-studded PAFON 1.0, with the theme: “Payments: Trust, Security and Privacy in AI Era”, Dr. Adewale Peter Obadare, the Chief Visionary Officer [CVO], Digital Encode Limited, said that customers want to be assured that their sensitive information, such as credit card numbers and personal details, is treated with utmost care hence security has become paramount in the payments industry.
“Secure payment processing ensures that data breaches are minimized, instilling confidence in customers to keep coming back. Nigerian financial institutions reported ₦159 billion ($201.5 million) lost to fraud cases since 2020, according to the Financial Institutions Training Centre (FITC). This is what the experts must tackle and customer awareness is key too”, he said.
Based on a report by Gartner, by 2024, 40% of privacy compliance technology will rely on AI, up from 5% in 2019, and by 2025, 60% of large organizations will use at least one privacy-enhancing computation technique in analytics, business intelligence, or cloud computing, and financial services industry is no exempted.
On the other hand, Roosevelt Elias, the co-founder of Payble, described PAFON as a ‘must-attend’ Forum due to the ‘issues listed to be discussed are germane and require critical attention. For instance, building financial inclusive products requires a mix of technology and illiteracy. The industry can’t achieve this by working in silos; we just have to unite to achieve the set target on financial inclusion, particularly for the rural dwellers.
Digital Encode (a leading consulting and integration that specializes in the design, management, and security of business-critical architecture); Cybervergent (a company dedicated to helping protect business sensitive data from cyber-attacks, including customer information, financial records and intellectual property); Payble (a fintech startup that modernises local government payments such as creating citizen-centric payment experiences, delivering flexible billing and simplified rate collection, will be joined at PAFON 1.0 by Inlaks, an IT company that offers core banking, fraud management, cybersecurity, cloud, data center, enterprise risk management, amongst other industry players.
“Our goal is to enable information exchange and knowledge sharing on key industry insights issues amongst key stakeholders, with the objective of ensuring a collaborative and proactive approach to push for policies that enable growth, tackling/mitigating fraud and limiting occurrences and losses”, said Mr. Chike Onwuegbuchi, the co-founder of TechCastle Foundation, organisers of Payment Forum Nigeria (PAFON).
He said that the Forum is driven by the reasons to; “educate and inform financial service players and other stakeholders on various issues and trends (both locally and globally); proactively share data/information amongst banks, Fintechs and other service providers, to enable prompt responses to prevent and/or limit (customer-related) losses; and discuss key Payments security trends”.
“Speakers will be drawn among industry players such as banks, Fintechs, mobile money operators, blockchain experts, Cybersecurity, etc., as we expect attendees from the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN); e-Banking Heads; Chief Compliance Officers of banks in Nigeria; Chief Internal Auditors of banks in Nigeria; Office of The National Security Adviser; Switching companies; the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission; Licensed Mobile Payment Operators; Electronic Payments Providers; Information Security Experts; Consumer Protection; Financial Policy and Regulation; Information Technology; Legal Services; Banking Supervision; Corporate Communication; Shared Services Office; Blockchain Security Experts, etc”, he added.
Participation:
Participation is free; however, you are required to pre-register using the link here: https://bit.ly/4c4N19H
For sponsorship, please contact: Mr. Chike Onwuegbuchi via: 08123355522 or Peter Oluka: 08184346261 or email: [email protected].
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